personal AnGoL – Page 112

February 1, 2008

Writing to myself

A friend recently got the letter that he wrote himself after 6 years.
What hit me is we should be doing things like these more often.
What do I mean things like these?
You know when you are young you have so many wrong ASSumptions that you laugh so much about when you get wiser. The real problem is when the these ASSumptions hurt us and we forget the wrongness of our previous selves and we can’t seem to explain to the NOW YOU why the hell you did somethings you KNOW you won’t be doing if given the chance.
We must learn to accept that change is normal, That we grow wiser through the years, we musn’t forget the OLD YOU because forgetting means being a little condescending with younger people. Forgetting means hating our OLD YOU because you can’t seem to understand some of the things he did. Forgetting means lying awake at night staring at the ceiling and wondering why you were so naive. Life means Growth and we do not live If we stop growing, we are allowed to make mistakes as long as we learn from them, we are allowed , no we continue to make the same mistakes as long as we keep forgetting, I do not want to forget.
Starting now, whenever I am making a semi big decision I am going to write to my future self and explain where I am coming from!
What would I write the future me?

What is my present situation?
What am I deciding to do?
Why am I deciding to do it?
How am I going to do it?
Why am I doing it that way?

For me these are the minimum things that my future self would like to know.
_______________________________________________________
Always wanting to find the 8spot, failing but never a fail!
This is a peek through my journey!

January 27, 2008

An Intelligent Sensible Man?

Paris - Musée d'Orsay: Pierre-Jean David d'Ang... — Image by wallyg via Flickr

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

from Quotes of the Day

“The intelligent man finds almost everything ridiculous, the sensible man hardly anything.”

I was learning how to use emacs when I saw the quote above. I consider myself both, an intelligent and sensible man.
Expending much thought on what I really am, I believe that I adapt to most situations I am in, I adapt so well and have learned not to complain that much, blame my religous upbringing.
I have always found most things phony in the Holden Caulfied way. I’ve always been two people co existing, I’ve always been sarcasitic, I’ve always found things are both less and more than they seem.
I’ve been tamed early on, but I am slowly finding that part of me that is suppressed, I am slowly finding that part of ourselves we are encouraged to bury within for the sake of fitting in, of being normal.
Normalcy has never been my strong suite and I am slowly breaking free. How am I breaking free?
I’ve learned to speak my peace. You may get mad at what I am Going to say, but when I say anything it is because I wanted to say it, It is because I wanted to feel better about me. Its not about who you are or my opinion of you, those things are beside the point, what’s important to me is my sanity, my peace and ultimately my happiness.
I’ve learned to let other speak their PEACE. I probably do not matter to you. You do not care what I feel, If yourn words hurt me its my problem. You are only trying to make yourself happy and If I knew better I wouldn’t care whatever you say. We are all basically trying to find ourselves and we shouldn’t get in each other’s way in the form of politeness, political correctness, and sensitivity. Don’t get me wrong I try to be polite and sensitive towards other people, its just that I do not expect them to be polite towards me!
The way I see it is , I have the following options:

Find my self no matter what, no matter who I hurt, no matter how evil I may seem.
To decide that impoliteness and hurting people is something I am not prepared to do, something I will not do and try to find myself within those constraints.
To try to not hurt anyone but to primarily care for finding myself.

I don’t care if you judge me but I choose 3. I will try not to hurt other people but this simply means I am sorry if had to hurt you to grow but no one is stopping me from finding out who I am!

October 13, 2007

The First Post Hello World!!

I am a Angol, and this is on my first post. I am 24 years old. I recently graduated my undergraduate degree in EE. I am not where I want to be. I have seen where I would like to be. My mind is still finding a way to get there. I overanalyze things, always, till now.
I sense that analysis has become just another cover for inaction. That fear has if not always been the motivation of any change.
This must end. I can no longer wait for the formal proof for any action. I have seen where I would like to be.
Onthe8Spot is where I want to be.
Hello. I am Angol, and this is my first post.

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