Decisions Destiny

I do not want to sound to cryptic but I am still not too comfortable discussing this, maybe another time when I do not have a headache!
from maverick owner Mark Cuban:
Personally, I don’t think people “know” what they are destined to be until they try it for the first couple times.
Going to college should be about experiencing as much academically as you possibly can, but more importantly, it should be about learning how to learn and recognizing that learning is a lifelong endeavor. School isn’t the end of the learning process, its purely a training ground and beginning.
I have two problems that was addresses from a snippet in this post by Mark Cuban.
One is that you really don’t know if what you are thinking you’d want to do for the rest of your life is really what you would like to do for the rest of your life. This isn’t a big problem, the big problem is that sometimes what we want to do is so life changing that we are scared to do it. I wanted to be cryptic at first but this is my blog I can’t help being honest. I would like to be a minister in our church but I also have many dreams that are not in sych with what I feel I was destined to do. The problem is that it times lost cannot be rewound. If I go head first with eyes wide open and find that being a soldier of God isn’t for me then what a quandry I would be in. The truth is I have made my decision already. The thing I am obssesing about is when is it now, a year from now or when I am 29 years old around 5 years from know. The original plan was at 29, the one my heart is telling me is now, the compromise a year from now.
I just ……

Finding A Place Under The Sun

from here:
Florida’s enormously influential first book, “The Rise of the Creative Class,” laid the sociological foundation for an idea many of us in the Bay Area had already understood intuitively: that creative people like artists, scientists and entrepreneurs – not big corporations, government offices, or generic infrastructure – fuel economic development.
The statement speaks for itself, but a little googling would show us that countries in general but specifically cities and technology hubs/areas are constantly trying to “move up” the technology output ladder.
Why is this?
Simply put the economic rewards of different rungs in the technology ladder is not linearly distributed. This is because of the productivity per rung is quite different. This makes evident the force multiplier that technology is, and with it the fact that even though we are all given 24 hours a day people from technologically superior places can do more work and earn more money with their 24 hours.
Take my country the Philippines as an example. Based on my personal experience (If the NSO published this in the web then I wouldn’t need to base this on my own experience, and yes I tried googling it ) NSO published statistics the wages of Filipino workers have been essentially stagnant (adjusting for inflation at 5.4%, NSO ). This would be very strange to anyone who has heard of call centers and BPO but the fact is Filipino “knowledge” workers are at the low end of the knowledge spectrum and are thus replaceable cogs in the knowledge sweatshops of “the Man”. The only way for the Philippines to get more revenues from the call center and BPO industries is to throw more people at it.
Why? As the early call center employees are finding out, positions for non executive, management work prefers people with some experience but are not too expensive. Put in another way: BPO if you do not have leadership skills or are not into teaching/training is simply not a career.
What then is a possible way out for my country in to this sideways movement? The highlighted qoute tells us this. You must foster artist, scientist, entreprenuers or creators in general. Only through the constant creative output of these people will we find ourselves out of the lower rungs of the tech ladder.
A positive effect of a relatively large group of young people with a relatively large disposable income is the fact that it tends to foster creative persuits such as bands, films, and the like. It has always been my belief that the resurgance of the local pop-rock, punk-rock or rock scene in general is due to call centers who give money to the fans who thus transfer these to the musicians. Not enough for the dream life, but enough for our artist to survive.
The final cog would probably be to internationalize the creative output of our artist, in the same way that the english speaking public is subsidizing the english rock bands, the chinese speaking public are subsidizing Chinovelas,Koreanovelas,Japanovelas. We must try to make south east asian countries along with the US,England etc all the countries where we have similarities with subsidize our artist and musicians specifically.
This has been a longish post and I salute your persistence in reading some musings.

re Post: The World As I See It by Albert Einstein

Reposted this because I felt for this essay by a man I admired greatly.
from: http://www.aip.org/history/einstein/essay.htm
Einstein at his home in Princeton, New Jersey

“How strange is the lot of us mortals! Each of us is here for a brief sojourn; for what purpose he knows not, though he sometimes thinks he senses it. But without deeper reflection one knows from daily life that one exists for other people — first of all for those upon whose smiles and well-being our own happiness is wholly dependent, and then for the many, unknown to us, to whose destinies we are bound by the ties of sympathy. A hundred times every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life are based on the labors of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the same measure as I have received and am still receiving…
“I have never looked upon ease and happiness as ends in themselves — this critical basis I call the ideal of a pigsty. The ideals that have lighted my way, and time after time have given me new courage to face life cheerfully, have been Kindness, Beauty, and Truth. Without the sense of kinship with men of like mind, without the occupation with the objective world, the eternally unattainable in the field of art and scientific endeavors, life would have seemed empty to me. The trite objects of human efforts — possessions, outward success, luxury — have always seemed to me contemptible.
“My passionate sense of social justice and social responsibility has always contrasted oddly with my pronounced lack of need for direct contact with other human beings and human communities. I am truly a ‘lone traveler’ and have never belonged to my country, my home, my friends, or even my immediate family, with my whole heart; in the face of all these ties, I have never lost a sense of distance and a need for solitude…”

“My political ideal is democracy. Let every man be respected as an individual and no man idolized. It is an irony of fate that I myself have been the recipient of excessive admiration and reverence from my fellow-beings, through no fault, and no merit, of my own. The cause of this may well be the desire, unattainable for many, to understand the few ideas to which I have with my feeble powers attained through ceaseless struggle. I am quite aware that for any organization to reach its goals, one man must do the thinking and directing and generally bear the responsibility. But the led must not be coerced, they must be able to choose their leader. In my opinion, an autocratic system of coercion soon degenerates; force attracts men of low morality… The really valuable thing in the pageant of human life seems to me not the political state, but the creative, sentient individual, the personality; it alone creates the noble and the sublime, while the herd as such remains dull in thought and dull in feeling. “This topic brings me to that worst outcrop of herd life, the military system, which I abhor… This plague-spot of civilization ought to be abolished with all possible speed. Heroism on command, senseless violence, and all the loathsome nonsense that goes by the name of patriotism — how passionately I hate them! “The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion that stands at the cradle of true art and true science. Whoever does not know it and can no longer wonder, no longer marvel, is as good as dead, and his eyes are dimmed. It was the experience of mystery — even if mixed with fear — that engendered religion. A knowledge of the existence of something we cannot penetrate, our perceptions of the profoundest reason and the most radiant beauty, which only in their most primitive forms are accessible to our minds: it is this knowledge and this emotion that constitute true religiosity. In this sense, and only this sense, I am a deeply religious man… I am satisfied with the mystery of life’s eternity and with a knowledge, a sense, of the marvelous structure of existence — as well as the humble attempt to understand even a tiny portion of the Reason that manifests itself in nature.”

re Post: Resolutions 2008 from raul's blog

here is the link to the original article:

http://www.mexicanpictures.com/headingeast/2008/01/found-on-bergen-smith.html
Check Raul’s blog for the scan!
Found on Bergen & Smith
A list torn from a yellow notepad (scan to follow):

Resolutions 20081. Be smart.
2. Be strong.
3. Be aggressive!
4. End it with M.
5. Get through #4. No guilt.
6. Tell B how I feel.
7. Make B understand.
8. Don’t make mistakes with B.
9. Love like a Tiger.
10. Live the life.
11. BE with B.
12. Forget THE PAST.
13. Get healthy in the brain.
14. Be happy.
15. Don’t think about things too much.

posted at 02:31 AM by raul

Make It About You

read this over at Raganwald’s blog

It was about programming and always talking of a Fictional Third Person.

Although the post was about programming, I feel that it has a larger application for life in general.
Why do we have to make an excuse for how we feel about things. Why do we always have to hide behind another person’s, (even worse a Fictional Third Person.

Let us stop passing the buck in our lives.

We have so much control over what we accept and what we do not accept that it is downright foolish to concede this great responsibility because of useless shame.

More to follow!

Eyes Wide Open

A story from Robert M. Pirsig:
He’d been having trouble with students who had nothing to say. At first he thought it was laziness but later it became apparent that it wasn’t. They just couldn’t think of anything to say.
One of them, a girl with strong-lensed glasses, wanted to write a five-hundred word essay about the United States. He was used to the sinking feeling that comes from statements like this, and suggested without disparagement that she narrow it down to just Bozeman.
When the paper came due she didn’t have it and was quite upset. She had tried and tried but she just couldn’t think of anything to say.
It just stumped him. Now he couldn’t think of anything to say. A silence occurred, and then a peculiar answer: “Narrow it down to the main street of Bozeman.” It was a stroke of insight.
She nodded dutifully and went out. But just before her next class she came back in real distress, tears this time, distress that had obviously been there for a long time. She still couldn’t think of anything to say, and couldn’t understand why, if she couldn’t think of anything about all of Bozeman, she should be able to think of something about just one street.
He was furious. “You’re not looking!” he said. A memory came back of his own dismissal from the University for having too much to say. For every fact there is an infinity of hypotheses. The more you look the more you see. She really wasn’t looking and yet somehow didn’t understand this.
He told her angrily, “Narrow it down to the front of one building on the main street of Bozeman. The Opera House. Start with the upper left-hand brick.”
Her eyes, behind the thick-lensed glasses, opened wide.
She came in the next class with a puzzled look and handed him a five-thousand-word essay on the front of the Opera House on the main street of Bozeman, Montana. “I sat in the hamburger stand across the street,” she said, “and started writing about the first brick, and the second brick, and then by the third brick it all started to come and I couldn’t stop. They thought I was crazy, and they kept kidding me, but here it all is. I don’t understand it.”
Neither did he, but on long walks through the streets of town he thought about it and concluded she was evidently stopped with the same kind of blockage that had paralyzed him on his first day of teaching. She was blocked because she was trying to repeat, in her writing, things she had already heard, just as on the first day he had tried to repeat things he had already decided to say. She couldn’t think of anything to write about Bozeman because she couldn’t recall anything she had heard worth repeating. She was strangely unaware that she could look and see freshly for herself, as she wrote, without primary regard for what had been said before. The narrowing down to one brick destroyed the blockage because it was so obvious she had to do some original and direct seeing.
— Robert M. Pirsig, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance

 

Often we are fooled by the Illusion that there is an easy path, that we do not have to take control of our lives. Do not give in to this desire. Often people try to not make decisions in general. Notice how when your in a group eating out we often have trouble deciding on where to eat? I continually see the pattern of people not wanting to be blamed with the mistake of choosing the wrong place to eat, but as this writer argues with blame comes hope.
Some friends mistake that I am good at getting places, travelling etc. The fact is I get lost a lot, and I am not generally scared of being lost , because of this I get to go to more places. It’s not being afraid of getting lost, and having this desire to just go places. It’s that fear of the unknown that is the source of too much suffering in this world. And I prescribe my own medicine of immersing yourself with your fears. Try it, get to know the other side, get lost, befriend that cute girl. Just please do something.

Writing to myself

A friend recently got the letter that he wrote himself after 6 years.
What hit me is we should be doing things like these more often.
What do I mean things like these?
You know when you are young you have so many wrong ASSumptions that you laugh so much about when you get wiser. The real problem is when the these ASSumptions hurt us and we forget the wrongness of our previous selves and we can’t seem to explain to the NOW YOU why the hell you did somethings you KNOW you won’t be doing if given the chance.
We must learn to accept that change is normal, That we grow wiser through the years, we musn’t forget the OLD YOU because forgetting means being a little condescending with younger people. Forgetting means hating our OLD YOU because you can’t seem to understand some of the things he did. Forgetting means lying awake at night staring at the ceiling and wondering why you were so naive. Life means Growth and we do not live If we stop growing, we are allowed to make mistakes as long as we learn from them, we are allowed , no we continue to make the same mistakes as long as we keep forgetting, I do not want to forget.
Starting now, whenever I am making a semi big decision I am going to write to my future self and explain where I am coming from!
What would I write the future me?

  • What is my present situation?
  • What am I deciding to do?
  • Why am I deciding to do it?
  • How am I going to do it?
  • Why am I doing it that way?

For me these are the minimum things that my future self would like to know.
_______________________________________________________
Always wanting to find the 8spot, failing but never a fail!
This is a peek through my journey!

An Intelligent Sensible Man?

Paris - Musée d'Orsay: Pierre-Jean David d'Ang...
Image by wallyg via Flickr

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

“The intelligent man finds almost everything ridiculous, the sensible man hardly anything.”

I was learning how to use emacs when I saw the quote above. I consider myself both, an intelligent and sensible man.
Expending much thought on what I really am, I believe that I adapt to most situations I am in, I adapt so well and have learned not to complain that much, blame my religous upbringing.
I have always found most things phony in the Holden Caulfied way. I’ve always been two people co existing, I’ve always been sarcasitic, I’ve always found things are both less and more than they seem.
I’ve been tamed early on, but I am slowly finding that part of me that is suppressed, I am slowly finding that part of ourselves we are encouraged to bury within for the sake of fitting in, of being normal.
Normalcy has never been my strong suite and I am slowly breaking free. How am I breaking free?
I’ve learned to speak my peace. You may get mad at what I am Going to say, but when I say anything it is because I wanted to say it, It is because I wanted to feel better about me. Its not about who you are or my opinion of you, those things are beside the point, what’s important to me is my sanity, my peace and ultimately my happiness.
I’ve learned to let other speak their PEACE. I probably do not matter to you. You do not care what I feel, If yourn words hurt me its my problem. You are only trying to make yourself happy and If I knew better I wouldn’t care whatever you say. We are all basically trying to find ourselves and we shouldn’t get in each other’s way in the form of politeness, political correctness, and sensitivity. Don’t get me wrong I try to be polite and sensitive towards other people, its just that I do not expect them to be polite towards me!
The way I see it is , I have the following options:

  1. Find my self no matter what, no matter who I hurt, no matter how evil I may seem.
  2. To decide that impoliteness and hurting people is something I am not prepared to do, something I will not do and try to find myself within those constraints.
  3. To try to not hurt anyone but to primarily care for finding myself.

I don’t care if you judge me but I choose 3. I will try not to hurt other people but this simply means I am sorry if had to hurt you to grow but no one is stopping me from finding out who I am!

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Hello World

Hello World
I’m Rain and I’m so unpredictable (undisciplined) but I like to think that I’m really that way and I like to think that I’m just being me but I can’t stop feeling that nagging sensation inside me saying I’m not what I am. Perhaps there are high ideals to pursue and perhaps those ideals are already here and perhaps not. Let me, for the meantime, pursue those high ideals with you readers =)