If you don’t have a great working environment quit, quit now!
from NYT:
In addition to being brilliant, Dr. Gray was an iconoclast. Speaker after speaker fondly told stories that reflected his disdain for bureaucracy and his independence. Shankar Sastry, dean of the college of engineering at UC Berkeley, noted that when organizers were planning the Saturday tribute, they felt the attire should be business casual; Dr. Gray, however, rarely wore anything but jeans and was once thrown out of the I.B.M. Scientific Center in Los Angeles for failing to meet the company’s dress code.
While working at I.B.M.’s Thomas J. Watson Jr. Research Laboratory in New York, Mr. Gray asked his boss if he could relocate to an I.B.M. laboratory in San Jose. When he was told that he couldn’t, he said, “All right, then, I quit.”
He then got in his Volkswagen, drove across the country and was rehired by an I.B.M. laboratory in California.
“We had a research group in San Francisco because Jim lived in San Francisco, and if he’d wanted to move to Monaco, we’d have a research center in Monaco,” said Rick Rashid, senior vice president for research at Microsoft.
What The Deaf Can Teach Us About Listening
I wish more people practice this. I’ve been trying to influence my friends to listen (not multitask) when conversing but, I did It by example and one of the things I suspect about how people are right now is that the inaudibles, the visuals , and other non auditory form of communication are largely ignored. How the F*ck can you activate your Social Brain (google Arthur Goleman google talk) without the non visuals.
Thanks to Doc Searls for the pointer.
from here:
Lessons of Silence
by Bruno Kahne
5/22/08
What the deaf can teach us about listening — and making ourselves heard.
1. Look people in the eye.
2. Don’t interrupt.
3. Say what you mean, as simply as possible.
4. When you don’t understand something, ask.
5. Stay focused.
Delusions and Inaction
Often times we want something to be true, we want our world view to be the truth when it would be infinitely better for us if we accept and to just try to change the world we know. It is of little use to keep on pretending about something when it limits our actions on making our aim to be reality!
from Eugene Wallingford’s blog Knowing and Doing
But my favorite passage came near the end, in response to the question, “Do you believe in magic?”
Hopefully I’m a nice guy, but I’m a really grumpy scientist, and in the end, I’m a reductionist. So if you can show me, [I’ll believe it]. As a scientist, I have to be grumpy about everything and be able to be willing to believe anything. … If you care what you believe, you should never be in the investigative fields — ever. You can’t care what you believe; you just have to care what’s out there. And when you do that, your bandwidth is as wide as that sounds, and the rigor … has to be as narrow as as the biggest bigot you’ve ever seen. Both are resident in a scientist’s mind at the same time.
This Is So Not True!
Studies have shown (got a deadline and just don’t have the time to search google for this!) around 90% of what someone achieves is based on the circumstances he/she is put in! Nuff said!
from here:
The working classes have lower IQs than those from wealthier backgrounds and should not be expected to win places at top universities, an academic has claimed.
Bruce Charlton, reader in evolutionary psychiatry at Newcastle University, suggested that the low numbers of working-class students at elite universities was the “natural outcome” of IQ differences between classes.
In a paper shown to the Times Higher Education magazine, Dr Charlton questioned the Government’s drive to get more students from poor backgrounds into top universities like Oxford and Cambridge.
He said: “The UK Government has spent a great deal of time and effort in asserting that universities, especially Oxford and Cambridge, are unfairly excluding people from low social class backgrounds and privileging those from higher social classes.
“Yet in all this debate a simple and vital fact has been missed: higher social classes have a significantly higher average IQ than lower social classes.”
The fact that so few students from poor families get into Oxbridge is not down to “prejudice” but “meritocracy”, he said.
The Government criticised Dr Charlton’s comments. Higher education minister Bill Rammell said: “These arguments have a definite tone of ‘people should know their place’.
“There are young people with talent, ability and the potential to benefit from higher education who do not currently do so. That should concern us all.”
Sally Hunt, general secretary of the University and College Union, said: “It should come as little surprise that people who enjoy a more privileged upbringing have a better start in life.
“It is up to all of us to ensure that not having access to the social and educational benefits that money provides is not a barrier to achieving one’s full potential.”
Road Less Travelled and an apology
I may be day dreaming, I may be rewriting my story I may be delusional, I’m not really sure. But I’ve always tried to take the road less traveled. I apologize to the people who are hurt along the way. I ask forgiveness for causing you pain, Not for what I have done, but the pain it caused you. I never meant to hurt anyone. It just had to happen the way it did!
Road Less Traveled
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth
Then took the other, as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I
I took the one less traveled by
And that has made all the difference
– Robert Frost
Love Means Never Having To Say I'm Sorry part 2
continuation of part 1.
“What can you say about a twenty-five year old girl who died? That she was beautiful and brilliant. That she loved Mozart and Bach. The Beatles. And me.”–Oliver Barrett IV, (Erich Segal Love Story)
Love Story is one of the few movies that I’ve seen at least 20 times, and that still makes me cry uncontrollably. I’ve all but given up on finding true love, so it especially hurtful for me that what is denied to me is so harshly stolen from oliver and jenny.
There’s this one scene where oliver and jenny fights because oliver gets mad at jenny for trying to thaw the ice between oliver and his dad. This is their first major fight. Oliver runs through the campus like a mad man trying to find jenny, the music sets the scene and the actor playing oliver delivers. The whole thing ends with oliver returning home, finding jenny by the steps of their apartment, as he is about to say sorry jenny lifts her and and stops him, saying “Love Means Never Having To Say I’m Sorry.”
That’s preety much how I feel about decisions in my life. I try to live consciously. I try to be self aware of the different things happening in my life. I try to make the best decisions possible in any situation that I am in the middle of. I weigh every variable and try to control for variables that affect my decisions such as, how does the effect on people I love affect my decision. I weigh everything and in the end pull the trigger on most decisions in my life with no regret. I have nothing to be sorry for, any decision I made I made knowingly and wholeheartedly. Somethings may have not entered my calculations. I may have overlooked or underestimated things and probably made a better decision with more time and introspections. But in life time is limited and your information is always imperfect. You will never make any decision if you let yourself be paralyzed by analysis, fear of the unknown, or the uncertainty of anything that can be considered trailblazing.
I have many quirks most of which are common enough not to engender any reaction outside of boredom. If I would fancy vanity, the expression of this would be how much I think about anything I do. The only times I am spontaneous would probably be in moments of anger, and those moment are seldom, but bunched up, yet occur in long intervals. I never allow myself to feel sorry for me and in turn any one. I believe that within the framework of God, we have free will and in that free will we have the power to shape our lives. I will never concede that we are powerless. I will never concede that our nation, that my/our lives are hopeless. I look around me and in those fleeting moments where a narcissist looks beyond himself I see only three kinds of people. One are those who are afraid, always blaming someone else, the government, his/her situation, his/her surroundings, Two the borderline, not knowing much of anything and yet their hope lies in the fact that they are still not within that negative self-feeding cycle of self pity, that most people of type One are, Three are the people who have No Apologies/Never Going To Say I’m Sorry Types.
They see the injustice in this world, the pain people go through and probably the narcissistic nihilism so prevalent in modern society and yells “UP YOURS”. The are the men and women who cannot be stopped. These are the people who may not eventually win but would never be losers. These are the people who say “Why can’t I dream?”,”What makes me different from people who looked up saw the moon and would not stop till man has finally touched its surface”,the person who do not doubt “That everyday is the real Time Of Your Life” .
I walk the streets and see a nation’s youth whose ambition is to go to greener pastures. To find a better life. I see them. Some of them are my friends. Some are most dear to me. But when I talk to them my hear cringes. I see the youth of our nations without heart, without courage, without resolve. I see people foreign to the simple truth that you can succeed anywhere, a nation whose greatest ambition is to not have to work hard.
(This is ironic for I am the one without work. I am an invalid telling working people they fear hard work. I would like to reply but this is not the post.)
For what is it that most people use as a reason for their flight, “For My Children To Have A Better Life.”
But what you are actually saying is that I am a shallow person beholden to the consumerist dictums of the modern senseless world. I want to raise my child in places where I am second class citizen, working 2-3 jobs just so that I could make LVMH or Mercedes, richer. I have no dreams whatsoever and my children would probably never be as successful as the son and daughters of Chinese,Japanese, and Korean immigrants. I just raised them to be cowards and slackers and If by some miracle of circumstance my child succeeds I would make it seems that he/she was a genius with boundless energy and charm, not the persistent and hardworking person that he or she probably is, Why because people from the Philippines never understand hardwork, they understand illicit trade, winning the lottery, marrying a rich husband/wife, but hard work, anyone who succeeds through hard work is suspect. (Why?This is for another longish ranting post)
This wasn’t supposed to be written like this, but I can either write following my mental outline or I can write the way that makes my blood pressure rise and Thank God I’m Alive!
Would you ever choose otherwise?
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
— Teddy Roosevelt
Best Sentence Today 2008 03 17
Steve Jobs :On what drives Apple employees
“We don’t get a chance to do that many things, and every one should be really excellent. Because this is our life. Life is brief, and then you die, you know? So this is what we’ve chosen to do with our life. We could be sitting in a monastery somewhere in Japan. We could be out sailing. Some of the [executive team] could be playing golf. They could be running other companies. And we’ve all chosen to do this with our lives. So it better be damn good. It better be worth it. And we think it is.”
Can you honestly say this with what you are doing with your life? Are you actively trying to find something great to do with the great gift of life God has given you? Are you continually making excuses and taking the easy way out? Is how you feel during leisure an order of magnitude different(greater,happier) than what you feel during work?
If you do not examine yourself right now and ask yourself these questions when will you ever find out? If you continue to go the remote control path what do you think will happen. You are never going to be really happy by just going where other people tell you to go. Ask yourself these questions , and afterwards after reflecting on your answers think of somebody whom you trust and who would be honest to you. Find that person, and ask him about life, ask about the things you admire about his life, find out how he got to where he is, and about the principles tht guided him.
In an anime Full Metal Alchemist
there is this principle of equivalent exchange: To Obtain Anything Something Of Equal Value Must Be Sacrificed.
You have to sacrifice now for a life well spent, remember the old adage “you can’t have your cake and eat it”. It takes sacrifice now and the pain that comes with going your own way.
Never Give Up On Your Dreams!
Follow Your Heart!
Love Means Never Having To Say I'm Sorry part 1
I’ve been a very boring person this past two years. You could compress all I’ve been trying to say with just a few words.
- Passion
- Love
- Self Awareness
- Self Expression
- Reality
Since working for a start-up (My first job actually!), afterwards discovering the likes of Paul Graham and other Start-up Envangelist.(I know I am weird I joined a tech startup before being brainwashed and fully converted to the startup way of thinking). Got Fired and depressed. Got depressed enough to go working for a traditional but still small to medium software company! Got Fired again. Now trying my hand in Cooperative/startup hybrid.
I am simply unemployable.(But this is for another post.)
What I was really going to say before the mini autobiography is that in trying to be true to yourself, in trying to find who you really are, you are bound to do things to feel sorry for but love means never having to say I am sorry. It is selfish, yes it is extremely selfish but the fact is it is true.
We must never intentionally hurt anyone but there is a line between trying not to hurt anyone and doing what is best for you. When that line has to be crossed err in the side of finding yourself. Err in the side of your happiness. It happens often enough but the fact is you cannot apologize for trying to be happy. You can be sorry for how it affected them but never for what you did! Never!
more to follow…..
On Listening To What Your Inner Self Is Telling You
follow up to : On Betrayal
I was thinking about my previous post on betrayal and I realized I can take it in a another direction. So here goes.
Sometimes when your doing something and it contradicts what you are saying may be you are not betraying yourself but actually trying to learn. What I am trying to say is maybe you just do not realize what you are doing contradicts what you profess to believe in. May be in some alternate chain of actions what you are doing does not really contradict what wou are saying. maybe, maybe.
But, what I believe is actually happening is that you are failing to listen to what your inner self is telling you.
When you have such a tough time getting yourself to go to work, your innerself is telling you something.
When you are more energetic at your hobby or side project after working a 9-5, your innerself is telling you something.
When all you can do is just smile whenever someone is talking, listening but finding yourself wondering about what you are going to do next,your innerself is telling you something.
When all you seem to do is laugh when you are with them and you are suddenly a different person, your innerself is telling you something.
When you can’t seem to shake the image of her face and how she slants her head whenever she talks, your innerself is telling you something.
When it hurts so much that you cant seem to find anyone who understands how much pain you are feeling, your innerself is telling you something.
I think that we have always had that inner compass, that inner self that we just cant lie to. We go through life first having no innerself because when we were young we did what we felt doing and because we knew little evil we weren’t that bad, And as we grew and got a little smarter, developed a little slyness and knew more evil things or maybe learned somethings to fear or learned to be more insecure we separated with the true us that lies within, that part of our being who we cannot lie to, where we can show no pretenses just the truth.
This is the innerself I speak about. This is the innerself we must be more aware of, for I would make you a bet that if you did listen more to it you’d be happier by far!
On Betrayal
The things we do is what I believe the true revelations to what/who we are and what we really want to be or maybe what we already are.
What do I mean?
When you say you want to become healthy and you still never have any time for exercise or never watch what you eat,
You are betraying yourself.
When you say you want to be hooked or find a nice girl/guy to be with and all you do is stay at your room and read ,
You are betraying yourself.
When you say you want to learn ow to drive/program/fish/etc and you always have an excuse not to,
You are betraying yourself.
Betrayal is one of the most heinous crimes one can commit in a war.In desperate circumstances they are summarily executed. In our lives we are continuously battling to find the perfect job, to find the perfect mate, to find true friends. This is a war that we must win, thus we must execute the betrayers within us, to start living the truth. It is very hard as I am finding out, but what is harder is to meet the end of your life and see that you have too many regrets, choices never decided, paths left untraveled, friends never made, relationships never started, business never built, dreams never accomplished.
I refuse to regret.
I will buck the trend of this world.
I will continue to dream and pursue action.
I will not live a half-ass life of regret. My parents sacrificed a lot for our family, to put us(their children) in a position to dream. I will not let them sacrifice for naught. I live for me and for them.