rePost:Finding Happiness:Stumbling and Mumbling: Money, reputation and happiness

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I suspect there might not be. One reason why I think I’m happier now than when I was younger (despite the U-shape in happiness over the life cycle) is precisely that I’ve stopped giving a damn what anyone thinks about me. If you care about your reputation, you end up worrying about things you can’t easily control. You become like Heather Mills, ranting hysterically about the press.
This is pretty much the exact opposite of Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s recipe for happiness – flow. He says we maximize happiness when we lose ourselves in an activity – playing music or sport say – when we are in control, and yet oblivious to our own ego.
Stumbling and Mumbling: Money, reputation and happiness.

Happiness is that thing that I yearn for and actually try to find. I haven’t but all good things take time. What am I trying to do to find happiness? Here are some:
-Trying out new thing. This includes hobbies etc. I am trying to skew towards activities that do.
-Connecting with people. Trying to interact with people and increase my circle of friends. This also include improving connections with my friends now.
-Connecting with your family. We tend to take our parent and siblings for granted. I try to smooth things over and try to maximize my time spent with my parents.
-Self Improvement. A most overused word but its overused for a reason you are never perfect. What you can be is a person that is totally comfortable with yourself! The best way (for me) to be comfortable with yourself is to face the harsh realities of life and your rough edges head on. This means being honest to yourself with the things taht are painful for you, the things that irk you, things that give you joy, the activities that gives you a lasting joy. The good thing about being honest to yourself is that when you do it often enough it becomes a habit thatbrings you closer

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rePost:Draconian Anti Internet Free Speech Laws in Thailand:Global Voices Online » Thailand: Web director arrested for “allowing offensive comments”

Hot And Sweaty Thai
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I find te thai a wonderful people full of warmth and hospitality(next to Filipinos). It is sad that the Thai people still live under such draconian oppressive laws, although I understand why there are laws such as these, a kind of command responsibility concept, It is unfortunate that the government does not realize that the price for responsibility is more than the pound of flesh they exact on the service providers . They are stiffling that which makes humans unique. Thought and creativity.

In Thailand, there is a “draconian” computer crime bill that states that any service provider who deliberately let a third party post anything that violates the law is also subject to the same liability as the person who committed the offense. Excerpts from the 2007 Computer Crime Act which the Prachatai editor allegedly violated:
Global Voices Online » Thailand: Web director arrested for “allowing offensive comments”.

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rePost:Remembering Gene :Roger Ebert's Journal: Roger Ebert: February 2009 Archives

I’m an emotional fellow and I have to confess this made me choke up, read the whole thing!

Remembering Gene
By Roger Ebert on February 17, 2009 8:24 PM
Gene Siskel and I were like tuning forks. Strike one, and the other would pick up the same frequency. When we were in a group together, we were always intensely aware of one another. Sometimes this took the form of camaraderie, sometimes shared opinions, sometimes hostility. But we were aware. If something happened that we both thought was funny but weren’t supposed to, God help us if one caught the other’s eye. We almost always thought the same things were funny. That may be the best sign of intellectual communion.
Roger Ebert’s Journal: Roger Ebert: February 2009 Archives.

rePost: Funny : What Facebook Is All About According To The Sports Guy Bill Simmons:The Sports Guy: Bill Simmons' Mailbag finally returns – ESPN Page 2

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As for Facebook, I don’t mind getting status updates and snapshots of what my friends’ lives are like — even if “Bob the Builder” is prominently involved — as long as they aren’t posting 10 times a day or writing something uncomfortable about their spouse/boyfriend like “(Girl’s name) is … trying to remember the last time she looked at her husband without wanting to punch him in the face” or “(Girl’s name) is … just going to keep eating, it’s not like I have sex anymore.” Keep me out of your personal business, please. Other than that, the comedy of status updates can be off the charts. Like my college classmate who sends out status updates so overwhelmingly mundane and weird that my buddies and I forward them to each other, then add fake responses like, “(Guy’s name) … snapped and killed a drifter tonight” and “(Guy’s name) … would hang myself if the ceilings in my apartment weren’t too short.” It kills us. We can’t get enough of it. We have been doing it for four solid months. And really, that’s what Facebook is all about — looking at photos of your friend’s kids or any reunion or party, making fun of people you never liked and searching for old hook-ups and deciding whether you regret the hook-up or not. That’s really it. All in all, I like Facebook.
The Sports Guy: Bill Simmons’ Mailbag finally returns – ESPN Page 2.

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rePost: RIP to Francis Magalona:GMANews.TV – 'Eat Bulaga' contestant bags P1-M jackpot; Joey owes it to Francis M – Entertainment – Official Website of GMA News and Public Affairs – Latest Philippine News – BETA

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Condolence to the family! I prey you find peace!

Eat Bulaga‘ contestant bags P1-M jackpot; Joey owes it to Francis M
03/06/2009 | 03:29 PM
MANILA, Philippines – The somber set of “Eat Bulaga” suddenly burst into excitement after a lucky contestant won the P1-million jackpot prize on Friday afternoon.
“Eat Bulaga” host Joey de Leon owed Windy’s lucky win to fellow host and Master Rapper Francis “Kiko” Magalona who had succumbed to leukemia earlier in the day.
Hoy, Kiko, andyan ka ba, Kiko? Nagbiro si Kiko! [Hey Kiko are you there? Kiko is playing us!]” De Leon said.
GMANews.TV – ‘Eat Bulaga’ contestant bags P1-M jackpot; Joey owes it to Francis M – Entertainment – Official Website of GMA News and Public Affairs – Latest Philippine News – BETA.

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rePost: Learning to Be Forgiving:Guilt and forgiveness – Part 1 at Paulo Coelho’s Blog

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Let’s just say I am not the ost forgiving person in the planet. I remember slights as far back as the second grade, but I remember because I believe I have something that could be called emotional memory. I tend to remember events, facts etc related to intense emotions that I feel. This means both extremes, happiness and sadness makes a mark on me that is hard to erase and so easy to recall and even easier to reinforce.
Forgiveness I think is a function of acceptance. Read the story accompanying the excerpted news. it’s quite good.

The story clearly illustrates our own problems with guilt and forgiveness. When we were children, we would often overhear our mother saying: ‘My child only behaved foolishly because he got into bad company. He’s a very good boy really.’
And so we never took responsibility for our actions, never asked for forgiveness and ended up forgetting that we must also be generous with those who offend us. The act of forgiveness has nothing to do with feelings of guilt or cowardice: we all make mistakes and it is only by occasionally stumbling that we can improve and progress. On the other hand, if we are too tolerant of our own behaviour – especially when this hurts other people – we become isolated and incapable of correcting our path.
Guilt and forgiveness – Part 1 at Paulo Coelho’s Blog.

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Learned Today: Popularity~Success:The Economic Value of Popularity – Freakonomics Blog – NYTimes.com

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Thanks to Tyler Cowen of Marginal revolutions for the pointer here, I think his points are interesting and quite valid.
AS for my views.; There is a certain rhythm to interacting with people. There is a certain rhythm in being friends with people. Honestly I had to learn that whole thing in college. Compare the highschool me and the me now, I was socially inept and something of jerk. Now I’m still a jerk, less socially inept , but this is mainly because I learned the types of people that I can interact well with.
And that is I think the thing, Because I am less scared with social interactions now I tend to meet more people now than I used to. I have to credit the understanding that people tend to be good. This knowledge help me to be less afraid of going to situations where interactions were totally not in my control.
How did I gradually become less socially inept?
-Striking up conversations with random people. Helped overcome this fear of talking with people. For me this is easier because I can make myself believe that even if I say something stupid, we are not going to see each other again.
-Striking up conversations with people not really part of your circle of friends but you see relatively often. After having a feel for small talk try talking with people you normally encounter, this may include the office security, custodians, or office mates from different departments.
-Going to clubs(not night clubs, hobby clubs etc)/meetups/organization. This might mean volunteering for something, or doing something together like hobbyist events. You get to meet like minded people, and chances are good that you have at least one topic of common interest!
-Reconnecting with peole form the past. This may mean a simple poke in facebook, or a private message in one of the tens of hundreds of social networks now existing. From personal experience this is best done when combined with actual face to face time. Like if you saw someone at a mall or a grocery but you can’t talk for some reason, or its his/her birthday. From the experience of a friend you may freak out some people if you suggest meeting up to catch up on old times, so this I believe is best done when there is an excuse, like homecoming etc.
-Face to Face meetups are important to personalise increasingly mobile/online connections. This must be done with care because as I stated earlier you may freak out some people. If you are meeting people you used to know well but has since lost touch with; best if you leave you old impressions of him or her ot turn your filter down a little. Remember that change is constant and some people reinvent themselves constantly. If you are meeting someone for the first time my advice would be leave your prejudice or what I call isms at home. Don’t judge people automatically or if you can’t do that at least try to act friendly towards everyone, Its easy to cutoff connections with people Its hard to create connections so don’t let superficial things get in the way of a possible real (not just online) friendship.
hope the few notes help my imaginary reader! have any more advice for people who are socially inept???

They find that each extra close friend in high school is associated with earnings that are 2 percent higher later in life after controlling for other factors. While not a huge effect, it does suggest that either that a) the same factors that make you popular in high school help you in a job setting, or b) that high-school friends can do you favors later in life that will earn you higher wages.

The Economic Value of Popularity – Freakonomics Blog – NYTimes.com.

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rePost:Finding Your Thing:Stumbling and Mumbling: Consumption deskilling & utility

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I am proud to say that i see this in a few of my friends, where other people might ask why? they just do!
Why is this? Based on my all too biased personal experience I find that the majority of people I know are like this, consumption maximisers and probably all that I can blame is probably environment. TV is the national obssession.
I remember a local rock legend ranting about how the kids nowadays just buy off the rack punks wear, etc. Things like this are akin to exercise , you need to get to form a habit of doing, creating and when you are you probably just can’t stop.
But how?
-Find what you enjoy by doing a multitude of things and try to do it till you feel at least two levels of pay-offs, so you can evaluate if something is “your thing!” Why two levels? Well most experiences either have different pay-offs and different level of pay-off per skill level, you may not get to evaluate how much you would value something if you quit to quickly!
-Just like the previous post try to incorporate it to your life/habit. Remember how Randy Paush, when he is thinking always had a football in his hands, you could do this with guitar playing whilst watching tv play the guitar, or while walking think of poems if you’re into poetry, think of blogposts while waiting for your train, you have the time, you are just not using it wisely.
-Find a friend to help you with your hobbies. Remember its always fun to do something with someone.
-When something is beginning to define you step back and think if this is really something you want to be defined by.
-Evaluate the effort you put in to your thing. You must always strive to improve because you might end up just with another reflex action.
-Evaluate you thing. Sometimes doing your thing would hold you back on some important parts of life, Like how my Internet addiction is slowly making me more socially inept than I already am.
Read the whole post its packed with information.

I suspect something else is going on. That something is the spread of purely instrumental rationality – the idea that utility maximization consists solely in maximizing consumption for minimal expenditure of time and money. Many of us take it for granted that it’s rational to spend as little time cooking as possible, and that music should only be a consumption good.
What this ignores is that many things are worth doing for their own sake. I’ll never play the guitar as well as Martin Simpson, or cook as well as Gordon Ramsey, or grow enough vegetables to be self-sufficient. But I play the guitar, cook and grow my own because these things are worth doing for their own sake.
Labour is not just a cost, to minimized. It is – or can be – a form of satisfaction in itself – a way of asserting who we are.
Stumbling and Mumbling: Consumption deskilling & utility.

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