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Introspection::It Stops Here

The students were interviewed after the study and most appeared “genuinely flabbergasted” to learn that an experimenter swap had occurred, yet they still responded differently to the prostitution scenario compared to the control group. Proulx and Heine say these results are similar to other studies where people have been made to feel threatened before making a judgement: when threatened, people are harsher judges of others. The researchers suggest that the students implicitly noticed the change of experimenter, but since this type of a swap is unusual in real life, they never became conscious of it. Because of this implicit detection of an unusual event, the students behaved as if they had been threatened.
via What if you saw something that rocked your world … and you didn’t notice? : Cognitive Daily.

Read the whole thing it’s very intructive. I’d like to just say that we should try to understand other people’s predicaments. Some are just simply lonely/sad/insecure and that’s why they are acting like class A @$$h0135. There was this movie “Pay It Forward”, where in upon receiving a major blessing from another person, you Pay It Forward. I think we can make something different. I don’t have a gift for naming things so let’s just call it “It Stops Here”.
Whenever somebody is acting harshly towards you, take a few deep breaths and tell yourself “It Stops Here”.
Whenever some other driver cuts you off, You don’t go ballistic. Respectfully correct the driver , take a couple of deep breaths and tell yourself “It Stops Here”.
When you get home after a long stressful day at work, before entering your house, you take a couple of breaths and tell yourself “It Stops Here”.
See when we are insecure we go into defensively offensive mode.  If you really are the strong one, then you roll with the punches and make it stop where you are. We must make it such that there is a voice inside our heads that says “I would not be abusive because another person is abusive towards me.”,” I will not let my insecurity become the reason I shout at another person.” It’s the small things like this simple act that make the world so much more livable.

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UCLA Loneliness Scale

Take the loneliness test here: UCLA Loneliness Scale.
UCLA Loneliness Scale
Indicate how often each of the statements below is descriptive of you. Circle one letter for each statement:
via UCLA Loneliness Scale.

If I interpret this correctly I have low loneliness, but this is because I don’t feel lonely doing things alone (I love how this sentence rolls of the mouth).  I searched for the UCLA Loneliness Scale after reading this post by Gretchen of The Happiness Project. Loneliness was on my mind because of the study this article was based on. (Pointer From Jayson F.).
Hope we can all self-evaluate and if we feel lonely then connect with people. Loneliness can be debilitating.

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Advice::The Psychological Immune System | PsyBlog

In the same paper Gilbert and colleagues report studies on people getting dumped by their partners, told their personalities are deficient and academics failing to get tenure. The pattern repeats: people think it’s going to feel bad, but generally it’s not as bad as they expect, and people recover quicker than they predict.
The merciful unconscious
The very fact that we don’t seem to notice our psychological immune system is probably the only reason it works at all. After all, in order to feel better we have to conveniently forget some important facts, such as how much we wanted the job we didn’t get, loved the partner who walked out or were enjoying the ice cream we just dropped.
But the good news is when life deals out its cruelest blows, our unconscious will be working overtime to find the upside. That’s why life often doesn’t turn out to feel as bad as we think. Soon enough most of us are on our merry way again with a bounce in our step, all thanks to the merciful but covert work of the psychological immune system.
via The Psychological Immune System | PsyBlog.

I understand how powerful this knowledge is but the fear is still there.
I hope I am not alone when I say that the fear of not getting what you want is one of the main reason that I sometimes or probably the majority of times I do not go after that which I want.  We really need to convince ourselves that, It’s not going to be as bad as you think! The earth will not end after she rejects you (well at least for a week/month or so it seem to have ended). Life goes on even if you got fired. The birds will still sing even if you are alone. See it’s like the rich getting richer. The people who fear less get to live more. The people who fear more live less. A friend told me that I lacked faith because I was always too prepared. This advice is for me. Fear less. Have faith. Things are seldom as bad/more bad than you expect it to be!

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Praise::Misconceptions About the Battle in Seattle : The Primate Diaries

Dedicated to Tibak/Activist friends! Read the whole post!

However, without the global focus that the protests provided, the delegates from the world's poorest countries would likely have continued to be ignored. Today many poor nations are stating that a similar process is being enacted in regards to climate change policies. The UN Climate Change Conference in Copenhagen may turn out to be as much of a rallying call for organizations worldwide as the WTO Ministerial was ten years ago. However, the arguments that the protesters at the WTO in Seattle were uniformly violent or that they were spoiled white kids who were standing in the way of institutional reform are clearly flawed. The policies that were being implemented at that time affected so many people, in so many various ways, that the differences between environmentalists and labor unions, American students and Korean farmers or rabble rousers and WTO delegates were erased. In that moment people came together to initiate the first shot in a struggle that continues to this day.
via Misconceptions About the Battle in Seattle : The Primate Diaries.

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Advice::The Intrapreneur's Ten Commandments

pointer from ben casnoscha .

THE INTRAPRENEUR’S TEN COMMANDMENTS
1. Come to work each day willing to be fired.
2. Circumvent any orders aimed at stopping your dream.
3. Do any job needed to make your project work, regardless of your job description.
4. Find people to help you.
5. Follow your intuition about the people you choose, and work only with the best.
6. Work underground as long as you can -publicity triggers the corporate immune mechanism.
7. Never bet on a race unless you are running in it.
8. Remember it is easier to ask for forgiveness than for permission.
9. Be true to your goals, but be realistic about the ways to achieve them.
10. Honor your sponsors.
via The Intrapreneur’s Ten Commandments.

Loved this list, I have to say that I agree with most of the things written. I believe 4 is the hardest for me. As I have said in the past I can’t seem to find someone to mentor me.

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Things To Think About:: Job Satisfaction 12/01/2009

My theory is that your degree of job satisfaction is largely a function of who you blame for the necessarily unpleasant job you have. If you blame yourself, that’s when cognitive dissonance sets in and your brain redefines your situation as “satisfied.” To do otherwise would mean you deliberately keep yourself in a bad situation for no good reason, assuming you believe you have options. Your brain likes to rationalize your actions to seem consistent with the person you believe you are.
….
If my theory is true, the best way to make your employees feel a false sense of job satisfaction is to somehow convince them that there are much better jobs elsewhere. For example, you could subscribe all employees to entrepreneur magazines that are full of stories about people who left their unsatisfying jobs to become zillionaires. If you instill the false belief that better careers are obtainable, cognitive dissonance will cause the employees that have high self-esteem to believe they must enjoy their current jobs.
via Scott Adams Blog: Job Satisfaction 12/01/2009.

I wouldn’t have considered this plausible about six months ago. It’s just that recent evidence from multiple places seem to warrant a serious thought.

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Advice::There's no speed limit. (The lessons that changed my life.) | Derek Sivers

This was inspiring hope you can read the whole thing!

Doing this in addition to my full course load, I graduated college in two and a half years – (got my bachelor's degree when I was 20) – squeezing every bit of education out of that place that I could.
But the permanent effect was this:
Kimo’s high expectations set a new pace for me. He taught me “the standard pace is for chumps” – that the system is designed so anyone can keep up. If you’re more driven than “just anyone” – you can do so much more than anyone expects. And this applies to ALL of life – not just school.
Before I met him, I was just a kid who wanted to be a musician, doing it casually.
Ever since our five lessons, high expectations became my norm, and still are to this day. Whether music, business, or personal – whether I actually achieve my expectations or not – the point is that I owe every great thing that’s happened in my life to Kimo’s raised expectations. That’s all it took. A random meeting and five music lessons to convince me I can do anything more effectively than anyone expects.
(And so can anyone else.)
I wish the same experience for everyone. I have no innate abilities. This article wasn't meant to be about me as much as the life-changing power of a great teacher and raised expectations.
via There’s no speed limit. (The lessons that changed my life.) | Derek Sivers.

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rePost::Letters of Note: Thousands of other Daddies went too…

read the whole thing!

Thousands of other Daddies went too…
John Byrnes sent the following beautiful letter to his 2-year-old daughter in 1942, months after being called to New Guinea to fight the Japanese forces during World War II. Realising that he may never return home, Byrnes wrote an extremely personal, heart-wrenching message in an effort to explain his current situation. Unfortunately – to me at least – the conclusion to this story is unknown, but hopefully this wasn’t the last contact he made.
via Letters of Note: Thousands of other Daddies went too….

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Learned::Ezra Klein – The behavioral economics of Thanksgiving

“Move to chopsticks!” he exclaimed, making bites smaller and harder to take. If the chopsticks are a bit extreme, smaller plates and utensils might work the same way. Study after study shows that people eat more when they have more in front of them. It’s one of our predictable irrationalities: We judge portions by how much is left rather than how full we feel. Smaller portions lead us to eat less, even if we can refill the plate.
via Ezra Klein – The behavioral economics of Thanksgiving.

I bought a box containing 40 pcs of california maki about two months ago. I couldn’t get over the fact that after only 15 pieces I was so full. People who have seen me eat know that I can eat alot. It really surprised me. I knew the reason must be psychological/cognitive.  Maybe I can use this while I’m dieting!
FYI: I gained alot of pounds because of my Mindanao vacation. I still can’t get over how many eat all you can’s Cagayan De Oro has, or how any where you look most barbecue or grill has unlimited rice in Davao. Must exercise, Must Diet!