personal AnGoL – Page 94

March 13, 2009

Best Read:Better Man:The everyday Masters – Part 4 at Paulo Coelho’s Blog

Image by superciliousness via Flickr

The harder thing is to try to be the bigger/better man/woman and in a sense this is about knowing yourself, being true to who you are, and trying to best your thoughts on who you are.

Cliche is cliche for a reason, it is the low resistance path, and as stated below, It is a choice. We must be mindful that we choose to get irritated, we choose to be disrespectful, we choose to be humiliated, we choose to be mean, we choose to be impolite. I’ve been thinking about this while going to work. I saw three people at Philcoa near UP trying to find a jeep that would take them to Nepa Q Mart. I have nothing against rural folks but I suspect that someone cheated them recently because the driver of the jeepney I was riding, was telling them that if they wanted to go to Nepa Q Mart the only way was to take a bus and they were at the farthest lane, the lane which no buses enter. Here was this jeepney driver trying to tell them something true and in a way did not even benefit him, because he was telling them to ride the bus, and here was these people telling him off. What he did was simple to say “Okay I don’t care anymore (“Bahala Ka Na” <in tagalog>)” and he drove away. I’ve been in similar situations where I tried helping someone and was rudely treated and I have to say there are a few times I wasn’t able to contain my irritation and probably insulted/cursed a few people. “If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too;”(line from If by Rudyard Kipling). I forgot that I know who I am , and the opinion of others are to be considered but far from something to be mad about. In most things and situations I believe we should try to be a better man than we think we are.

If I react the way that people expect me to, I become a slave to them – and that is a lesson that applies both to love and work. It is very difficult to prevent this from happening, because we are always ready to please somebody, or to start a war when we are provoked, but people and situations are the consequences of the life that I have chosen, not the other way around.
via The everyday Masters – Part 4 at Paulo Coelho’s Blog.

March 12, 2009

Had To Share:Nice Story On Injustice:Guilt and forgiveness – Part II at Paulo Coelho’s Blog

: Image via Wikipedia

Nice story read the whole thing!
Guilt and forgiveness – Part II
Published by Paulo Coelho on March 6, 2009 in Stories

Here is a beautiful story that illustrates precisely what I mean:
When he was small, Cosroes had a teacher who helped him to become an outstanding student in all his subjects. One afternoon, the teacher punished him severely, apparently for no reason.
Years later, Cosroes acceded to the throne. One of his first actions was to summon his former schoolmaster and demand an explanation for the injustice he had committed.
‘Why did you punish me when I had done nothing wrong?’ he asked.
‘When I saw how intelligent you were, I knew at once that you would inherit the throne from your father,’ replied his teacher. ‘And so I decided to show you how injustice can mark a man for life. Now that you know that,’ the teacher went on, ‘I hope you will never punish another person without good reason.’
Guilt and forgiveness – Part II at Paulo Coelho’s Blog.

March 12, 2009

Learned Today: Feel Not Own:Experiences Beat Possessions: Why Materialism Causes Unhappiness « PsyBlog

: Image by Tonio Vega via Flickr

I’d like to reframe this question, see I think one of the reasons that Experiences beat possessions is that most possessions are acquired as means to experience “buying/shopping” and because shopping is a low quality experience I believe that people who go for experiences are happier. I think a nice avenue to study this is to compare model builders versus shopper of less active/creative/input driven stuff and I think that the results would validate my reframing.
I am taking a vacation a few months from now and the truth is the only way I am affording this vacation is through belt tightening and delaying some of the things I would have already bought weeks ago, if not for this short vacation. When coming up with the decision to live frugally for approximately 4-5 months (I’ve got alot of credit card bills mostly grocery and books/comic books/cds and a few restaurant bills, If I knew earlier I probably wouldn’t have to be as frugal now.) The thing I was thinking about the most is that I have strong emotional memory (I don’t know If there is such a thing but that is the closest short set of words I can come up with).
My EM goes both ways I remember the ups and downs and the uniques. The way I see it is that If a choice has to be made then the choice would be experience over material things.

Why do experiences fare better than possessions?
It seems, then, that at some level we understand that our experiential purchases give us more pleasure than our material purchases. But why is that? Van Boven (2005) suggests three reasons:
1. Experiences improve with time (possessions don’t).
2. Experiences are resistant to unfavourable comparisons
3. Experiences have more social value
Experiences Beat Possessions: Why Materialism Causes Unhappiness « PsyBlog.

March 11, 2009

Best Read:Delaying Adulthood:Chris Blattman's Blog: Beware graduate school?

: Cover of Born Yesterday

From Chris Blattman’s blog post on Penelope Trunks post on avoiding grad school here.

These arguments seem to better reflect people who get a PhD when they have little chance of getting a faculty position (sorry, humanities) and professional school for the sake of professional school. But sometimes professional school gives you technical skills needed for a job (accounting, tropical medicine, law…) and PhDs are a must for professional researchers. Without those caveats, the advice reads more like a rant.
Besides, who says delaying adulthood is pointless?
Chris Blattman’s Blog: Beware graduate school?.

Both post have their points but I’d like to focus on Chris’s last point( The one I emphasized) which is incidentally Penelope’s first point. The thing is that most people I meet outside of hobby groups/programming user groups/clubs tend to have less time (if at all) to study and learn new stuff. Its like you have to ram something through their throats before they learn it. I think this stems from the fact that studying for a lot of people becomes chore like, not a lot of people study for fun (I remember a friend who actually reads TC7[The Calculus 7th Edition by Leithold] while he eats and he looks like he is having fun), Or another friend who seems to have so much time to create creative stuff that really amaze me both for how time consuming they are and for how much he seems to get done, Or another friend who seems to write academic paper with ease in between teaching full loads and managing an indie rock band. Suffice to say they aren’t the norm.
The norm is half baked blog post(ehem ehem). Dozens of friendster/facebook/multiply comments. Probably 2-4 non-fiction book a year if at all.
If I had to pick one attribute to take out of school with me it is the capability to learn stuff, but the capability is simply potential if not applied. A lot of people who go to school do not go to school to learn or at least to learn how to learn (loved writing this sentence).
That’s why I think getting an MS and delaying adulthood is good for a lot of people. I remember the remake of Born Yesterday starring Melanie Griffith and her character is a small town gal that is being tutored by a professor so she would no longer embarass her husband. Don Johnson say: Howd you know a mink fur is good? Melani Griffith says because I used to wear rabbit fur. (I watch this film more than 10 years ago forgive me if I’ve forgotten the words , the gist is that the professor was asking how did she know what was good and she in essence said because I had worse.)
If you watched that scene (personally I found the remake more of a gimmick when compared to the original film, I love old films and used to watch fox classic movies more than hbo) it showed two things. It is a triumph to surpass ourselves (that was the dignity of Melanie’s reply) while we know how well we have done only if we know it in relation to the whole or at least to a bigger sample (what don jonson was doing was somewhat trying to shame melanie into submission whilst her reaction showed she got what he was saying but also declaring that “you may look down on me but What I did was no easy matter”).
That being said 25 is the new 18 (Probably saying this because I’m 25) and if we try to stay healthy we could live as long as our parents and probably be more productive (if we try to stay fit, the world is beginning to be more accommodating to old people). When do we take charge of our lives? it easy to make mistakes early on, but whose mistake do we want to commit our own mistakes or the misconceptions our elders have of this world. Call me naive but my actions prove my resolve. I’d rather make my own mistakes than walk the same old tired paths. I don’t know , but doing this is hard but this is something I’d probably not change my mind about. Just as Chris Blattman said “who says delaying adulthood is pointless?”
John Mayer‘s Stop This Train from here

no i’m not color blind
i know the world is black and white
i try to keep an open mind
but i just can’t sleep on this tonight
stop this train i want to get off and go home again
i can’t take the speed it’s moving in
i know i can’t
but honestly, won’t someone stop this train
don’t know how else to say it,
i don’t want to see my parents go
one generation’s length away
from fighting life out on my own
stop this train
i want to get off and go home again
i can’t take the speed it’s moving in
i know i can’t
but honestly won’t someone stop this train
so scared of getting older
i’m only good at being young
so i play the numbers game
to find away to say that life has just begun
had a talk with my old man
said “help me understand”
he said “turn sixty-eight”
“you’ll renegotiate”
“don’t stop this train
don’t for a minute change the place you’re in
and don’t think i couldn’t ever understand
i tried my hand
john, honestly we’ll never stop this train”
once in a while, when it’s good
it’ll feel like it should
when you’re all still around
and you’re still safe and sound
and you don’t miss a thing
till you cry when you’re driving away in the dark.
singing stop this train i want to get out and go home again
i can’t take this speed it’s moving in
i know i can’t
cause now i see i’ll never stop this train

March 11, 2009

rePost:Public Transpo Rant!:Business – Prius to hit Philippine roads by June – INQUIRER.net

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The mortgage of my parents latest vehicle is going to be paid by next year that’s why in total consumer cliche behavior we are beginning to think of our next car. The Prius is probably going to be very expensive hope my parents can afford it. As for me. Public transport is still the best way to bring people with the least amount of carbon emissions and gas usage. I may only be one but I vote with my peso and ride only the best busses to promote investment in this underserved sector of the Philippine services part of the GDP. Hope more people do because as long as we tolerate overburdened, second rate, second hand 20 year old buses from Japan, people who can buy cars would always prefer buying one.
If public transport:
-ran just a little late (10 minute car ride becomes 20, versus the now, 10 car ride is an hour ),
-meant I get to sit down during rush hours(versus the forced to stand up)
-meant standard fares and intelligible fare matrices, so I don’t get irritated by rider and bus conductors fighting over 1-4 peso difference in fare.
-meant exclusive lanes or congestion pricing. Because the volume of traffic in manila is unsustainable and old cars are just too cheap, we must discourage these jalopy or at least level the playing field. I like the way Singapore handles this. You have to have a garage and your car can only be used for a fixed number of years.
-meant less pollution , which means the Department Of Health would no longer warn the public from biking to work because of the health risk associated with lung/repiratory diseases.
I could go on but I detect a mild rantiness in my writing probably due to me being very sick with fever and flu yesterday, and the ton of work I have to Do

Prius to hit Philippine roads by June
By Abigail L. Ho Philippine Daily Inquirer First Posted 03:41:00 03/11/2009
Filed Under: Automotive Equipment
MANILA, Philippines — Toyota Motor Philippines Corp. plans to bring the Prius hybrid car to the Philippines by June, amid global efforts to come up with ways to limit carbon dioxide emissions, a company official said.
The company “very recently” got the go-ahead from Toyota Motor Corp. in Japan to bring the Prius over, its vice chairman Alfred Ty said.
Business – Prius to hit Philippine roads by June – INQUIRER.net.

March 8, 2009

Had To Share:Good Ideas Need To Be Nurtured Not Shoved Into Anybody's Throat!:Big Tent Atheism – Boing Boing

: Image by buckofive via Flickr

I come from a very religous family , I have friends from both spectrum of religousity /belief . What I find that is grating me personally is that need by a lot of people to assert their correctness by tearing the other guy a new one. I used to feel that need when I was younger , but with age comes nonchalance, you just realize that people live within their own worlds and the true miracle is that any group of people exists as a group.
What helped me get to this is the realization that although “Good Ideas Need To Be Nurtured, They Don’t Need Anyone Trying To Shove Them In Anybody’s Throat”.
Although, based on what little I pretend to understand of the mathematics of evolution, the goodness/fitness of an attribute over that of the norm does not mean it would be carried over in successive generations, it depends on how well it helps the species survive. Which I interpret to mean in the case of ideas : How right an idea is does not mean that an idea would survive, it is how well an idea gives rise to other people believing in the idea. In some ways what my analysis is pointing me towards the feeling that their strategy is counter productive; as I believe the quoted article is saying.

With religion, I think atheists have the same dissonance going on. If they really think the world would be better off without religion, they shouldn’t hate religion and call believers fools. Any successful new belief system must appreciate the beauty of what it’s replacing and strive for backwards-compatibility. If Matthew 1:1-16 hadn’t explained how Jesus’ lineage fulfills the prophecy in Isaiah 1:1-5, it wouldn’t have gotten where it is today.
So I put it to declared atheists– the ones who fly the flag about it, not the ones who are quiet or closeted: Do you think that most of humanity is A) hopeless and doomed to kill each other because of their stupid religious beliefs, or B) capable of coming to and benefiting from your views?
I think closeted atheists who participate in other religious activities are the future of atheism. They know that prayer feels good without a needing brain scientist to tell them, and they know you don’t need God to want to feed the hungry, heal the sick, and provide homes for the orphaned. What if they simply stopped reciting the words that they didn’t agree with during religious services, without calling attention to it? In many places I don’t think they would be kicked out or turned upon and beaten just for that.
Big Tent Atheism – Boing Boing.

March 8, 2009

rePost:Finding Happiness:Stumbling and Mumbling: Money, reputation and happiness

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I suspect there might not be. One reason why I think I’m happier now than when I was younger (despite the U-shape in happiness over the life cycle) is precisely that I’ve stopped giving a damn what anyone thinks about me. If you care about your reputation, you end up worrying about things you can’t easily control. You become like Heather Mills, ranting hysterically about the press.
This is pretty much the exact opposite of Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s recipe for happiness – flow. He says we maximize happiness when we lose ourselves in an activity – playing music or sport say – when we are in control, and yet oblivious to our own ego.
Stumbling and Mumbling: Money, reputation and happiness.

Happiness is that thing that I yearn for and actually try to find. I haven’t but all good things take time. What am I trying to do to find happiness? Here are some:
-Trying out new thing. This includes hobbies etc. I am trying to skew towards activities that do.
-Connecting with people. Trying to interact with people and increase my circle of friends. This also include improving connections with my friends now.
-Connecting with your family. We tend to take our parent and siblings for granted. I try to smooth things over and try to maximize my time spent with my parents.
-Self Improvement. A most overused word but its overused for a reason you are never perfect. What you can be is a person that is totally comfortable with yourself! The best way (for me) to be comfortable with yourself is to face the harsh realities of life and your rough edges head on. This means being honest to yourself with the things taht are painful for you, the things that irk you, things that give you joy, the activities that gives you a lasting joy. The good thing about being honest to yourself is that when you do it often enough it becomes a habit thatbrings you closer

March 6, 2009

rePost: Learning to Be Forgiving:Guilt and forgiveness – Part 1 at Paulo Coelho’s Blog

: Image by peterjaena via Flickr

Let’s just say I am not the ost forgiving person in the planet. I remember slights as far back as the second grade, but I remember because I believe I have something that could be called emotional memory. I tend to remember events, facts etc related to intense emotions that I feel. This means both extremes, happiness and sadness makes a mark on me that is hard to erase and so easy to recall and even easier to reinforce.
Forgiveness I think is a function of acceptance. Read the story accompanying the excerpted news. it’s quite good.

The story clearly illustrates our own problems with guilt and forgiveness. When we were children, we would often overhear our mother saying: ‘My child only behaved foolishly because he got into bad company. He’s a very good boy really.’
And so we never took responsibility for our actions, never asked for forgiveness and ended up forgetting that we must also be generous with those who offend us. The act of forgiveness has nothing to do with feelings of guilt or cowardice: we all make mistakes and it is only by occasionally stumbling that we can improve and progress. On the other hand, if we are too tolerant of our own behaviour – especially when this hurts other people – we become isolated and incapable of correcting our path.
Guilt and forgiveness – Part 1 at Paulo Coelho’s Blog.

March 6, 2009

Learned Today: Popularity~Success:The Economic Value of Popularity – Freakonomics Blog – NYTimes.com

: Image by peterjaena via Flickr

Thanks to Tyler Cowen of Marginal revolutions for the pointer here, I think his points are interesting and quite valid.
AS for my views.; There is a certain rhythm to interacting with people. There is a certain rhythm in being friends with people. Honestly I had to learn that whole thing in college. Compare the highschool me and the me now, I was socially inept and something of jerk. Now I’m still a jerk, less socially inept , but this is mainly because I learned the types of people that I can interact well with.
And that is I think the thing, Because I am less scared with social interactions now I tend to meet more people now than I used to. I have to credit the understanding that people tend to be good. This knowledge help me to be less afraid of going to situations where interactions were totally not in my control.
How did I gradually become less socially inept?
-Striking up conversations with random people. Helped overcome this fear of talking with people. For me this is easier because I can make myself believe that even if I say something stupid, we are not going to see each other again.
-Striking up conversations with people not really part of your circle of friends but you see relatively often. After having a feel for small talk try talking with people you normally encounter, this may include the office security, custodians, or office mates from different departments.
-Going to clubs(not night clubs, hobby clubs etc)/meetups/organization. This might mean volunteering for something, or doing something together like hobbyist events. You get to meet like minded people, and chances are good that you have at least one topic of common interest!
-Reconnecting with peole form the past. This may mean a simple poke in facebook, or a private message in one of the tens of hundreds of social networks now existing. From personal experience this is best done when combined with actual face to face time. Like if you saw someone at a mall or a grocery but you can’t talk for some reason, or its his/her birthday. From the experience of a friend you may freak out some people if you suggest meeting up to catch up on old times, so this I believe is best done when there is an excuse, like homecoming etc.
-Face to Face meetups are important to personalise increasingly mobile/online connections. This must be done with care because as I stated earlier you may freak out some people. If you are meeting people you used to know well but has since lost touch with; best if you leave you old impressions of him or her ot turn your filter down a little. Remember that change is constant and some people reinvent themselves constantly. If you are meeting someone for the first time my advice would be leave your prejudice or what I call isms at home. Don’t judge people automatically or if you can’t do that at least try to act friendly towards everyone, Its easy to cutoff connections with people Its hard to create connections so don’t let superficial things get in the way of a possible real (not just online) friendship.
hope the few notes help my imaginary reader! have any more advice for people who are socially inept???

They find that each extra close friend in high school is associated with earnings that are 2 percent higher later in life after controlling for other factors. While not a huge effect, it does suggest that either that a) the same factors that make you popular in high school help you in a job setting, or b) that high-school friends can do you favors later in life that will earn you higher wages.

The Economic Value of Popularity – Freakonomics Blog – NYTimes.com.

March 5, 2009

rePost:Finding Your Thing:Stumbling and Mumbling: Consumption deskilling & utility

: Image by madaboutasia via Flickr

I am proud to say that i see this in a few of my friends, where other people might ask why? they just do!
Why is this? Based on my all too biased personal experience I find that the majority of people I know are like this, consumption maximisers and probably all that I can blame is probably environment. TV is the national obssession.
I remember a local rock legend ranting about how the kids nowadays just buy off the rack punks wear, etc. Things like this are akin to exercise , you need to get to form a habit of doing, creating and when you are you probably just can’t stop.
But how?
-Find what you enjoy by doing a multitude of things and try to do it till you feel at least two levels of pay-offs, so you can evaluate if something is “your thing!” Why two levels? Well most experiences either have different pay-offs and different level of pay-off per skill level, you may not get to evaluate how much you would value something if you quit to quickly!
-Just like the previous post try to incorporate it to your life/habit. Remember how Randy Paush, when he is thinking always had a football in his hands, you could do this with guitar playing whilst watching tv play the guitar, or while walking think of poems if you’re into poetry, think of blogposts while waiting for your train, you have the time, you are just not using it wisely.
-Find a friend to help you with your hobbies. Remember its always fun to do something with someone.
-When something is beginning to define you step back and think if this is really something you want to be defined by.
-Evaluate the effort you put in to your thing. You must always strive to improve because you might end up just with another reflex action.
-Evaluate you thing. Sometimes doing your thing would hold you back on some important parts of life, Like how my Internet addiction is slowly making me more socially inept than I already am.
Read the whole post its packed with information.

I suspect something else is going on. That something is the spread of purely instrumental rationality – the idea that utility maximization consists solely in maximizing consumption for minimal expenditure of time and money. Many of us take it for granted that it’s rational to spend as little time cooking as possible, and that music should only be a consumption good.
What this ignores is that many things are worth doing for their own sake. I’ll never play the guitar as well as Martin Simpson, or cook as well as Gordon Ramsey, or grow enough vegetables to be self-sufficient. But I play the guitar, cook and grow my own because these things are worth doing for their own sake.
Labour is not just a cost, to minimized. It is – or can be – a form of satisfaction in itself – a way of asserting who we are.
Stumbling and Mumbling: Consumption deskilling & utility.