Finding out about yourself is something not for the feint of heart. its something that a lot of people say they aim for but not really do. A lot of people subscribe to the maxim “Ignorance is Bliss”. I am not one of those people. I delude myself knowingly. I bask in the complexity of my inconsistencies, The inaccuracies of being true to something as ephemeral as the concept of me. Just hope the people I love and who love me understands that sometimes sometimes we do things and we do not understand why.
MRT at Midnight
I intentionally went to work at around noon and left work at around midnight, this was all done to ensure that I would be at the MRT station after midnight!
Some observations:
-I have to confess a certain fantasy that a scene in my sassy girl would be repeated. (No Go)
-I had to wait about 18 minutes for the train to arrive. I am told that the trains arrive every thirty minutes, but it also depends on the number or people wanting to ride, they adjust depending on demand.
-It’s either surprising because the plain was relatively full without being shoulder to shoulder with other people being the first day, or it is full because it is the first day, I suspect a combination of these two.
-It’s surprising for me that most people were going out at the north avenue station not the cubao station. I believe this is because after around 5 stations taking the mrt is more economical than other transport options.
-I was unlucky enough to be caught in the middle of the downpour. Half of my body was wet.
-Surprising how many of my friends were awake at midnight.
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Random Wikipedia facts 2009 06 01
A me and a couple of friends were arguing awhile last thursday about the most populous and also about population density of cities, based on wikipedia I was wrong and tokyo is both more populous and had a higher population density than seoul, but based on 2007 figures the population density of seoul is higher, but the argument is useles because Karachi,Cairo,Kolkota, and Mumbai has about twice the population densities of both tokyo and seoul. The scary thing is that if we trust wikipedia the manila and alot of the other cities that comprise the metro manila have population densities that are about 2-10x higher than that of karachi, this is wierd to me and does not pass the smell test, don’t know but this is really surprising for me.
Weird Day 2009 06 01
I started out having an awful migraine, I woke up at around 5.30 but really couldn’t force myself to standup, slept till 10.30 and finally was at work by 12.30 in th afternoon. I was unproductive for about 2 hours , but as I was coding the migraine subsided from my consciousness and now I am okay. (This was written aroun 4pm)
It’s now 9:23 pm, have to say that I did less coding and more analysis of the code that I was going to update, which waas a bummer, I love coding, and the highlight of the day is another hastily planned trip for this weekend, hope everything turns out fine! I’ve been wanting to go to anilao since about two weeks ago, and finally flund people to go with me! hehehe, thanks friends!
On another happy note, because ofthe late start of my workday, I can sample the 24 hour MRT test run they are doing for today.
The West Wing (tv show) Reminiscence – Sonia Sotomayor edition
I remember this The West Wing scene where toby is elated with having someone confirmed as judge., and strangely the scene where president bartlett talks with a very old supreme court judge slowly becoming senile, the judge says “Who can you get me?, I need someone who ahs a body of work….. I am much better than them in my worst days (on talking about anyone that bartlett can get confirmed)”. Strangely, I feel that Sonia Sotomayor can actually pass mustard with that judge.
Kudos to the obama whitehouse, we take the victories that we can. Hope the honorable
running away
I don’t know
I don’t know seems like running away is the easiest and most rational thing to do but I feel that it’s not for me.
I know I’ve said that I’m okay, but every time I see her I’m not.
It’s just who I am, I am a the kind of person whose blood still boils from an insult as far back as the 3rd grade.
I just never learned to forget, what I know hot to do is to replace.
Replace memories with other memories , but how can you replace when you just can’t find any emotion not anger.
I’m trapped between replacing the previous emotion with another emotion, and I care too much to replace that thing with anger. I’d rather be in hell.
just want to forget, can i just run away?
Happy Days
I still haven’t posted and even finished the pinatubo, vigan , potipot after trip posts and I even have the David Archuleta/ David Cook concert (It’s not about the concert but that day, I was really very happy. ) outlined.
I just bought really high quality fins, googles and a simple snorkel, I’m really looking forward in using them.
Hope the trip I am planning to tag along to pushes through.
Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans –John Lennon
I have to confess that I view these words two ways.
One is from the fact that I feel so very alive when I am anticipating something, I delude myself enough that I can be honest with myself on how not so great an experience is and not feel depressed.
Two is from how it seems that the things we aim for longterm are just small inflection point, sometimes doscontinuities that are just a small part of life, most of our time is spent on the planning and how we live in the moments!
Damn These Are Really Happy Days!
Thanks to my Family and My Friends for being part of the reason that I am having such Happy Days!
Had To Share::Lessons Learned: Fear is the mind-killer
This resonated with me alot. I get lost alot. This is why I tell people when we get lost , “Don’t Panic I’m An Expert At Getting Lost!”. This is also why I think It I feel comfortable going to places only with a certain type of personality. The Fuck I Dont Care Types of people. See i’ve been lost too many times to fear being lost. I take it as a truth that there are good people everywhere, some have more, some have only a few, but Everywhere I’ve been lost I’ve always found special people to help me. To be honest I also do some stuff to minimize the effects of being lost, which means almost always bringing emergency money, and being prepared to walk tens of miles to get home is definitely a way to minimize the fear of being lost.
The specific advice is about developing software and I have to confess that I use to fear programming a lot. I use to have a lot of paranoia with screwing up the computer. I eventually outgrew this by a combination of the stated techniques below. nice article all in all!
The interesting thing about fear is that to reduce it requires two contradictory impulses. First, we can reduce fear by mitigating the consequences of failure. If we construct areas where experimentation is less costly, we can feel safer and therefore try new things. On the other hand, the second main way to reduce fear is to engage in the feared activity more often. By pushing the envelope, we can challenge our assumptions about consequences and get better at what we fear at the same time. Thus, it is sometimes a good idea to reduce fear by slowing down, and sometimes a good idea to reduce fear by speeding up.
via Lessons Learned: Fear is the mind-killer.
Best Read:If You Have 3 Or More Priorities You've Got To Read This:Mud Rooms, Red Letters, and Real Priorities | 43 Folders
Even though their influence informs every decision we make on the most tactical level, thinking about priorities happens at a strategic, “why am I here?” level. Right? Maybe? Disagree? Pretty sure you can make priorities like biscuits or shuffle them around like Monopoly pieces?
Got news for you, Jack: if it moves, it’s not a priority. It’s just a thing you haven’t done yet.
Making something a BIG RED TOP TOP BIG HIGHEST #1 PRIORITY changes nothing but text styling. If it were really important, it’d already be done. Period. Think about it.
Example. When my daughter falls down and screams, I don’t ask her to wait while I grab a list to determine which of seven notional levels of “priority” I should assign to her need for instantaneous care and affection. Everything stops, and she gets taken care of. Conversely — and this is really the important part — everything else in the universe can wait.
via Mud Rooms, Red Letters, and Real Priorities | 43 Folders.
I’ve probably read this 5 times at least some parts probably more than 10. I am trying to live. I am trying to find the/my priority. I am incomplete, I am confused, I am human.
rePost:Need To Lose Weight?:Obese young men have less hope of marriage
from inquirer here: http://showbizandstyle.inquirer.net/breakingnews/breakingnews/view/20090508-203813/Obese-young-men-have-less-hope-of-marriage
Obese young men have less hope of marriage
Agence France-Presse
First Posted 10:41:00 05/08/2009
Filed Under: Food, Food and Diet and Nutrition, Research, relationships and dating, Youth, Lifestyle & Leisure
AMSTERDAM — Men who were grossly overweight at the age of 18 had nearly 50 percent less chance of being married by their 30s and 40s, an international conference on obesity heard in Amsterdam on Thursday.
The findings, which held true regardless of the men’s intellectual performance or socio-economic position, could suggest that women rank a man’s appearance higher than other traits when choosing a partner.
“Yes, that may be one explanation,” researcher Malin Kark of the Swedish Karolinska Institute medical university, told AFP on the sidelines of the four-day gathering hosted by the European Association for the Study of Obesity.
do I even want to get married? Do I even still think that she exists? I am beginning to have my doubts.