UCLA Loneliness Scale

Take the loneliness test here: UCLA Loneliness Scale.
UCLA Loneliness Scale
Indicate how often each of the statements below is descriptive of you. Circle one letter for each statement:
via UCLA Loneliness Scale.

If I interpret this correctly I have low loneliness, but this is because I don’t feel lonely doing things alone (I love how this sentence rolls of the mouth).  I searched for the UCLA Loneliness Scale after reading this post by Gretchen of The Happiness Project. Loneliness was on my mind because of the study this article was based on. (Pointer From Jayson F.).
Hope we can all self-evaluate and if we feel lonely then connect with people. Loneliness can be debilitating.

Advice::The Psychological Immune System | PsyBlog

In the same paper Gilbert and colleagues report studies on people getting dumped by their partners, told their personalities are deficient and academics failing to get tenure. The pattern repeats: people think it’s going to feel bad, but generally it’s not as bad as they expect, and people recover quicker than they predict.
The merciful unconscious
The very fact that we don’t seem to notice our psychological immune system is probably the only reason it works at all. After all, in order to feel better we have to conveniently forget some important facts, such as how much we wanted the job we didn’t get, loved the partner who walked out or were enjoying the ice cream we just dropped.
But the good news is when life deals out its cruelest blows, our unconscious will be working overtime to find the upside. That’s why life often doesn’t turn out to feel as bad as we think. Soon enough most of us are on our merry way again with a bounce in our step, all thanks to the merciful but covert work of the psychological immune system.
via The Psychological Immune System | PsyBlog.

I understand how powerful this knowledge is but the fear is still there.
I hope I am not alone when I say that the fear of not getting what you want is one of the main reason that I sometimes or probably the majority of times I do not go after that which I want.  We really need to convince ourselves that, It’s not going to be as bad as you think! The earth will not end after she rejects you (well at least for a week/month or so it seem to have ended). Life goes on even if you got fired. The birds will still sing even if you are alone. See it’s like the rich getting richer. The people who fear less get to live more. The people who fear more live less. A friend told me that I lacked faith because I was always too prepared. This advice is for me. Fear less. Have faith. Things are seldom as bad/more bad than you expect it to be!

Advice::There's no speed limit. (The lessons that changed my life.) | Derek Sivers

This was inspiring hope you can read the whole thing!

Doing this in addition to my full course load, I graduated college in two and a half years – (got my bachelor's degree when I was 20) – squeezing every bit of education out of that place that I could.
But the permanent effect was this:
Kimo’s high expectations set a new pace for me. He taught me “the standard pace is for chumps” – that the system is designed so anyone can keep up. If you’re more driven than “just anyone” – you can do so much more than anyone expects. And this applies to ALL of life – not just school.
Before I met him, I was just a kid who wanted to be a musician, doing it casually.
Ever since our five lessons, high expectations became my norm, and still are to this day. Whether music, business, or personal – whether I actually achieve my expectations or not – the point is that I owe every great thing that’s happened in my life to Kimo’s raised expectations. That’s all it took. A random meeting and five music lessons to convince me I can do anything more effectively than anyone expects.
(And so can anyone else.)
I wish the same experience for everyone. I have no innate abilities. This article wasn't meant to be about me as much as the life-changing power of a great teacher and raised expectations.
via There’s no speed limit. (The lessons that changed my life.) | Derek Sivers.

Learned::Ezra Klein – The behavioral economics of Thanksgiving

“Move to chopsticks!” he exclaimed, making bites smaller and harder to take. If the chopsticks are a bit extreme, smaller plates and utensils might work the same way. Study after study shows that people eat more when they have more in front of them. It’s one of our predictable irrationalities: We judge portions by how much is left rather than how full we feel. Smaller portions lead us to eat less, even if we can refill the plate.
via Ezra Klein – The behavioral economics of Thanksgiving.

I bought a box containing 40 pcs of california maki about two months ago. I couldn’t get over the fact that after only 15 pieces I was so full. People who have seen me eat know that I can eat alot. It really surprised me. I knew the reason must be psychological/cognitive.  Maybe I can use this while I’m dieting!
FYI: I gained alot of pounds because of my Mindanao vacation. I still can’t get over how many eat all you can’s Cagayan De Oro has, or how any where you look most barbecue or grill has unlimited rice in Davao. Must exercise, Must Diet!

Repost::Open as in water, the fluid necessary for life

Most of our happiness and productivity comes from the everyday details of our lives: the people we live and work with, the books we read, the hikes we take, the parties we attend, etc. But how do we choose these things? How do we know what to do, and how do know if we’ll like it? The obvious answer is that we do and like whatever the TV tells us to do and like. I’m not certain that's the best answer though.
By sharing more of our own thoughts and lives with the world, we contribute to the global pool of “how to live”, and over time we also get contributions back from the world. Think of it as “open source living”. This has certainly been my experience with my blog and FriendFeed. Not only do people occasionally say that it has helped them, but I’ve also met interesting new people and gotten a lot of good leads on new ideas. These are typically small things, but our lives are woven from the small details of everyday living. For example, I saw a good TED talk on “The science of motivation”, shared it on FriendFeed, and in the comments Laura Norvig suggested a book called Unconditional Parenting, which turns out to be very good.
via Paul Buchheit: Open as in water, the fluid necessary for life.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I’ve been on vacation since last week! Loving it but would love to say Happy Thanksgiving to all!
Video is Wednesday Addams explaining Thanksgiving!

Elink Vid:Warren Buffet and Bill Gates Answering questions from columbia biz students

I’m posting this because sometime around twenty minutes into the video a girl asks bill what industries does he think will produce the next bill gates because that is the industry that the girl wants to work on, after bill’s answer Warren B butts in and says:

“Find What Turns You On, Find what you have a passion for,
If somebody said to me bill’s biz was gonna be exciting I don’t think I would have done well…” (watch the video)…””….
“I will guarantee you’ll do well on whatever turns you on.
Don’t let anybody else tell you what to do,
You’ll figure out when your doing something..(didn’t finish)”


I was in tears,
It just hit me at the right time.
I was forgetting this.
I needed to be reminded.
Some decisions have been made tonight.
God is Good.

Advice::The three habits… | The Economist

Which points to the most irritating thing of all about management gurus: that their failures only serve to stoke demand for their services. If management could indeed be reduced to a few simple principles, then we would have no need for management thinkers. But the very fact that it defies easy solutions, leaving managers in a perpetual state of angst, means that there will always be demand for books like Mr Covey’s.
via The three habits… | The Economist.

We want easy answers, we want gurus to find the answers for us. Damn. The journey is the fun part, all the angst, all the ups and downs. Learn to Learn. Learn to target. Learn what to target. Read if you must (I surely do) but never forfeit the right to think!

Advice:: Ten Simple Rules for Choosing between Industry and Academia

Rule 7: Plan for the Long Term Top
Having noted the current situation in Rule 6, it's important also to say that a career decision should be made with the long haul in mind. The business cycle will eventually reverse itself, and while the business model may need to change irrevocably, the aging population alone dictates that healthcare will be an increasing global priority. Likewise, history shows that growth in government funding for science waxes and wanes, with a time constant somewhat longer than a decade. Trying to optimize a career decision based on current conditions is a bit like trying to time the stock market—you are sure to be overtaken by events.
One approach is to choose some reasonably long time frame, perhaps a decade, and ask yourself whether you'd be content to have lived through the average ups and downs you'd experience in a given job over that period. In academia, that would include a tenure decision (rate your chances), a lot of grant applications with mixed success at best, and maybe some great students and really significant scientific contributions. In pharma or large biotech, it would encompass a couple of promotions, your own group and maybe a department, at least one merger or other big disruption, and several rounds of layoffs. In small business, it might include a failed startup (or two, or three), an IPO if you're lucky, and a lucrative exit strategy or long-term growth if you're really lucky.
If you game these scenarios with various probabilities, and use your imagination, it just might become clear which ones you have no stomach for, and which ones really hold your interest.
via PLoS Computational Biology: Ten Simple Rules for Choosing between Industry and Academia.

There was an aha moment when I got this. I used to plan. In planning I count myself as topnotch. I coupled this with an extremely frank, honest evaluation after. Repeatedly doing this It hit me that as Dwight Eisenhower said

“In preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless, but planning is indispensable.”

“Plans are nothing; planning is everything.”

See, it hit me that as things become more complicated the more useless plans become. To be really rational about something what you need to do is develop a personality of adaptability. To be a person that can face most of anything. To train yourself to be quick on your feet, and great at improvisation.  We can guess a lot of things about the future we can see trends and have a feel for what is happening, But in a sense predicting the future is simply impossible. This help wean me from believing that there is a yellow brick road to a happy/successful life. I’m no longer blind to believing that anything is a sure thing. Most things for me are probable or improbable.
Life is not as clean as that of science or math.  Yes you can use some optimization, game theory and stuff but the complexity in life sometimes mean that even if you optimize from start to finish you end up somewhere not so good, whilst even if you made so many mistakes and bad decisions you still end up someplace great. Life is choatic.
Does this mean I don’t plan? No, I still plan during times when I don’t have anything better to do. This is because planning is everything. It is aform of play acting. It’s probably my excuse for perusing science fiction, to put myself in situations where making decisions does not follow simple rules.
If all things fail, cheer up always remember that the human mind has an extreme ability to be okay with most things. Just ask Dan Ariely(In his 2005 TED Talk I think.)