personal AnGoL – Page 86

December 3, 2009

Introspection::It Stops Here

The students were interviewed after the study and most appeared “genuinely flabbergasted” to learn that an experimenter swap had occurred, yet they still responded differently to the prostitution scenario compared to the control group. Proulx and Heine say these results are similar to other studies where people have been made to feel threatened before making a judgement: when threatened, people are harsher judges of others. The researchers suggest that the students implicitly noticed the change of experimenter, but since this type of a swap is unusual in real life, they never became conscious of it. Because of this implicit detection of an unusual event, the students behaved as if they had been threatened.
via What if you saw something that rocked your world … and you didn’t notice? : Cognitive Daily.

Read the whole thing it’s very intructive. I’d like to just say that we should try to understand other people’s predicaments. Some are just simply lonely/sad/insecure and that’s why they are acting like class A @$$h0135. There was this movie “Pay It Forward”, where in upon receiving a major blessing from another person, you Pay It Forward. I think we can make something different. I don’t have a gift for naming things so let’s just call it “It Stops Here”.
Whenever somebody is acting harshly towards you, take a few deep breaths and tell yourself “It Stops Here”.
Whenever some other driver cuts you off, You don’t go ballistic. Respectfully correct the driver , take a couple of deep breaths and tell yourself “It Stops Here”.
When you get home after a long stressful day at work, before entering your house, you take a couple of breaths and tell yourself “It Stops Here”.
See when we are insecure we go into defensively offensive mode. If you really are the strong one, then you roll with the punches and make it stop where you are. We must make it such that there is a voice inside our heads that says “I would not be abusive because another person is abusive towards me.”,” I will not let my insecurity become the reason I shout at another person.” It’s the small things like this simple act that make the world so much more livable.

December 3, 2009

UCLA Loneliness Scale

Take the loneliness test here: UCLA Loneliness Scale.
UCLA Loneliness Scale
Indicate how often each of the statements below is descriptive of you. Circle one letter for each statement:
via UCLA Loneliness Scale.

If I interpret this correctly I have low loneliness, but this is because I don’t feel lonely doing things alone (I love how this sentence rolls of the mouth). I searched for the UCLA Loneliness Scale after reading this post by Gretchen of The Happiness Project. Loneliness was on my mind because of the study this article was based on. (Pointer From Jayson F.).
Hope we can all self-evaluate and if we feel lonely then connect with people. Loneliness can be debilitating.

December 3, 2009

Advice::The Psychological Immune System | PsyBlog

In the same paper Gilbert and colleagues report studies on people getting dumped by their partners, told their personalities are deficient and academics failing to get tenure. The pattern repeats: people think it’s going to feel bad, but generally it’s not as bad as they expect, and people recover quicker than they predict.
The merciful unconscious
The very fact that we don’t seem to notice our psychological immune system is probably the only reason it works at all. After all, in order to feel better we have to conveniently forget some important facts, such as how much we wanted the job we didn’t get, loved the partner who walked out or were enjoying the ice cream we just dropped.
But the good news is when life deals out its cruelest blows, our unconscious will be working overtime to find the upside. That’s why life often doesn’t turn out to feel as bad as we think. Soon enough most of us are on our merry way again with a bounce in our step, all thanks to the merciful but covert work of the psychological immune system.
via The Psychological Immune System | PsyBlog.

I understand how powerful this knowledge is but the fear is still there.
I hope I am not alone when I say that the fear of not getting what you want is one of the main reason that I sometimes or probably the majority of times I do not go after that which I want. We really need to convince ourselves that, It’s not going to be as bad as you think! The earth will not end after she rejects you (well at least for a week/month or so it seem to have ended). Life goes on even if you got fired. The birds will still sing even if you are alone. See it’s like the rich getting richer. The people who fear less get to live more. The people who fear more live less. A friend told me that I lacked faith because I was always too prepared. This advice is for me. Fear less. Have faith. Things are seldom as bad/more bad than you expect it to be!

December 2, 2009

Advice::There's no speed limit. (The lessons that changed my life.) | Derek Sivers

This was inspiring hope you can read the whole thing!

Doing this in addition to my full course load, I graduated college in two and a half years – (got my bachelor's degree when I was 20) – squeezing every bit of education out of that place that I could.
But the permanent effect was this:
Kimo’s high expectations set a new pace for me. He taught me “the standard pace is for chumps” – that the system is designed so anyone can keep up. If you’re more driven than “just anyone” – you can do so much more than anyone expects. And this applies to ALL of life – not just school.
Before I met him, I was just a kid who wanted to be a musician, doing it casually.
Ever since our five lessons, high expectations became my norm, and still are to this day. Whether music, business, or personal – whether I actually achieve my expectations or not – the point is that I owe every great thing that’s happened in my life to Kimo’s raised expectations. That’s all it took. A random meeting and five music lessons to convince me I can do anything more effectively than anyone expects.
(And so can anyone else.)
I wish the same experience for everyone. I have no innate abilities. This article wasn't meant to be about me as much as the life-changing power of a great teacher and raised expectations.
via There’s no speed limit. (The lessons that changed my life.) | Derek Sivers.

December 1, 2009

Learned::Ezra Klein – The behavioral economics of Thanksgiving

“Move to chopsticks!” he exclaimed, making bites smaller and harder to take. If the chopsticks are a bit extreme, smaller plates and utensils might work the same way. Study after study shows that people eat more when they have more in front of them. It’s one of our predictable irrationalities: We judge portions by how much is left rather than how full we feel. Smaller portions lead us to eat less, even if we can refill the plate.
via Ezra Klein – The behavioral economics of Thanksgiving.

I bought a box containing 40 pcs of california maki about two months ago. I couldn’t get over the fact that after only 15 pieces I was so full. People who have seen me eat know that I can eat alot. It really surprised me. I knew the reason must be psychological/cognitive. Maybe I can use this while I’m dieting!
FYI: I gained alot of pounds because of my Mindanao vacation. I still can’t get over how many eat all you can’s Cagayan De Oro has, or how any where you look most barbecue or grill has unlimited rice in Davao. Must exercise, Must Diet!

December 1, 2009

Repost::Open as in water, the fluid necessary for life

Most of our happiness and productivity comes from the everyday details of our lives: the people we live and work with, the books we read, the hikes we take, the parties we attend, etc. But how do we choose these things? How do we know what to do, and how do know if we’ll like it? The obvious answer is that we do and like whatever the TV tells us to do and like. I’m not certain that's the best answer though.
By sharing more of our own thoughts and lives with the world, we contribute to the global pool of “how to live”, and over time we also get contributions back from the world. Think of it as “open source living”. This has certainly been my experience with my blog and FriendFeed. Not only do people occasionally say that it has helped them, but I’ve also met interesting new people and gotten a lot of good leads on new ideas. These are typically small things, but our lives are woven from the small details of everyday living. For example, I saw a good TED talk on “The science of motivation”, shared it on FriendFeed, and in the comments Laura Norvig suggested a book called Unconditional Parenting, which turns out to be very good.
via Paul Buchheit: Open as in water, the fluid necessary for life.

December 1, 2009

Elink Picture:: Good, While You're At It Can You….

I still can’t get over the fact that this depressed me. Still asking myself why?

November 25, 2009

Happy Thanksgiving!

I’ve been on vacation since last week! Loving it but would love to say Happy Thanksgiving to all!
Video is Wednesday Addams explaining Thanksgiving!

November 17, 2009

Advice::The three habits… | The Economist

Which points to the most irritating thing of all about management gurus: that their failures only serve to stoke demand for their services. If management could indeed be reduced to a few simple principles, then we would have no need for management thinkers. But the very fact that it defies easy solutions, leaving managers in a perpetual state of angst, means that there will always be demand for books like Mr Covey’s.
via The three habits… | The Economist.

We want easy answers, we want gurus to find the answers for us. Damn. The journey is the fun part, all the angst, all the ups and downs. Learn to Learn. Learn to target. Learn what to target. Read if you must (I surely do) but never forfeit the right to think!