rePost::When Situations Not Personality Dictate Our Behaviour | PsyBlog

If people are not doing the right things; If people are less kind than what we know they can be; If people are more selfish or self-centered that what we believe they should be; Maybe what’s wrong is that we are not letting them have the opportunity , the situations to show the good they can do. Whenever I fall in the trap of thinking myself as good and decent I step back and tell myself; How lucky I am that I have the opportunity to be good, to be decent. This is because I haven’t faced something that was big enough to push me to the limit. This keeps me huble.

In a hurry, can’t stop
Here’s what happened. On average just 40% of the seminary students offered help (with a few stepping over the apparently injured man) but crucially the amount of hurry they were in had a large influence on behaviour. Here is the percentage of participants who offered help by condition:
* Low hurry: 63%
* Medium hurry: 45%
* High hurry: 10%
The type of talk they were giving also had an effect on whether they offered help. Of those asked to talk about careers for seminarians, just 29% offered help, while of those asked to talk about the parable of the Good Samaritan, fully 53% gave assistance.
What these figures show is the large effect that subtle aspects of the situation have on the way people behave. Recall that the experimenters also measured personality variables, specifically the 'religiosity' of the seminarians. When the effect of personality was compared with situation, i.e. how much of a hurry they happened to be in or whether they were thinking about a relevant parable, the effect of religiosity was almost insignificant. In this context, then, situation is easily trumping personality.
via When Situations Not Personality Dictate Our Behaviour | PsyBlog.

rePost::How Other People’s Unspoken Expectations Control Us | PsyBlog

When independent observers listened to the tapes of the conversation they found that when women were talking to men who thought they were very attractive, the women exhibited more of the behaviours stereotypically associated with attractive people: they talked more animatedly and seemed to be enjoying the chat more. What was happening was that the women conformed to the stereotype the men projected on them. So people really do sense how they are viewed by others and change their behaviour to match this expectation.
Now this experiment just happened to be carried out by manipulating the stereotype of attractiveness but the same rule applies to many different areas of life. Think of any of the standard stereotypes about class, race and nationality. Each of these create expectations in other people's minds, expectations that are difficult for us to avoid playing up to.
via How Other People’s Unspoken Expectations Control Us | PsyBlog.

This is powerful because it shows another mechanism in which people who think negatively or suspiciously of somebody/something affects how that someone acta/reacts towards them.  Does this mean I need to expect people would be kind and giving towards me? I don’t know , maybe. Read the whole thing to see how they setup the experiment.

rePost::7 lies we tell ourselves about money | I Will Teach You To Be Rich

1. “I want to make passive income
I love when people say this because you can tell they have no idea what they’re talking about. It’s kind of like trying to identify people with bad taste: Just go to the local Hometown Buffett. They’re all there.
I hate to say it but most of us don’t need to focus on passive income, we need to focus on improving our active income — our jobs. How? By becoming more skilled, solving more problems for our bosses, and basically out-hustling co-workers.
A lot of people don’t like to hear this because it means that instead of reaching for some dream of $500/day in passive income, they actually have to do some work right now at their jobs. But your job is the most likely place you can significantly increase your income.
via 7 lies we tell ourselves about money | I Will Teach You To Be Rich.

This is an excellent list and should be read !

Reblog this post [with Zemanta]

rePost::Inventory of normality « Paulo Coelho’s Blog

Inventory of normality
Published on December 21, 2009 in News. 83 Comments
in “The winner stands alone”, by Paulo Coelho
1] Anything that makes us forget our true identity and our dreams and makes us only work to produce and reproduce.
2] Making rules for a war (the Geneva Convention).
3] Spending years at university and then not being able to find a job.
4] Working from nine in the morning to five in the afternoon at something that does not give us the least pleasure, so that we can retire after 30 years.
5] Retiring only to discover that we have no more energy to enjoy life, and then dying of boredom after a few years.
6] Using Botox.
7] Trying to be financially successful instead of seeking happiness.
8] Ridiculing those who seek happiness instead of money by calling them “people with no ambition”.
9] Comparing objects like cars, houses and clothes, and defining life according to these comparisons instead of really trying to find out the true reason for being alive.
10] Not talking to strangers. Saying nasty things about our neighbors.
11] Thinking that parents are always right.
12] Getting married, having children and staying together even though the love has gone, claiming that it’s for the sake of the children (who do not seem to be listening to the constant arguments).
12ª] Criticizing everybody who tries to be different.
14] Waking up with a hysterical alarm-clock at the bedside.
15] Believing absolutely everything that is printed.
16] Wearing a piece of colored cloth wrapped around the neck for no apparent reason and known by the pompous name “necktie”.
17] Never asking direct questions, even though the other person understands what you want to know.
18] Keeping a smile on your face when you really want to cry. And feeling sorry for those who show their own feelings.
19] Thinking that art is worth a fortune, or else that it is worth absolutely nothing.
20] Always despising what was easily gained, because the “necessary sacrifice” – and therefore also the required qualities – are missing.
21] Following fashion, even though it all looks ridiculous and uncomfortable.
23] Investing a lot in exterior beauty and paying little attention to interior beauty.
24] Using all possible means to show that even though you are a normal person, you are infinitely superior to other human beings.
25] In any kind of public transport, never looking straight into the eyes of the other passengers, as this may be taken for attempting to seduce them.
26] When you enter an elevator, looking straight at the door and pretending you are the only person inside, however crowded it may be.
27] Never laughing out loud in a restaurant, no matter how funny the story is.
28] In the Northern hemisphere, always wearing the clothes that match the season of the year: short sleeves in springtime (however cold it may be) and a woolen jacket in the fall (no matter how warm it is).
29] In the Southern hemisphere, decorating the Christmas tree with cotton wool, even though winter has nothing to do with the birth of Christ.
30] As you grow older, thinking you are the wisest man in the world, even though not always do you have enough life experience to know what is wrong.
31] Going to a charity event and thinking that in this way you have collaborated enough to put an end to all the social inequalities in the world.
32] Eating three times a day, even if you’re not hungry.
33] Believing that the others are always better at everything: they are better-looking, more resourceful, richer and more intelligent. Since it’s very risky to venture beyond your own limits, it’s better to do nothing.
34] Using the car as a way to feel powerful and in control of the world.
35] Using foul language in traffic.
36] Thinking that everything your child does wrong is the fault of the company he or she is keeping.
38] Always saying “I tried”, even though you haven’t tried at all.
39] Putting off doing the most interesting things in life until you no longer have the strength to do them.
40] Avoiding depression with massive daily doses of television programs.
41] Believing that it is possible to be sure of everything you have won.
42] Thinking that women don’t like football and that men don’t like interior decoration.
43] Blaming the government for everything bad that happens.
44] Being convinced that being a good, decent and respectful person means that the others will find you weak, vulnerable and easy to manipulate.
45] Being convinced that aggressiveness and discourtesy in treating others are signs of a powerful personality.
47] And finally, thinking that your religion is the sole proprietor of the absolute truth, the most important, the best, and that the other human beings in this immense planet who believe in any other manifestation of God are condemned to the fires of hell.
via Inventory of normality « Paulo Coelho’s Blog.

I so love this list.

rePost::UPDATED: Avatar Box Office Opening: $77 Million Domestic, $242 Million Worldwide, Biggest Debut Ever for an Original Film | /Film

[Update: This morning, the estimates for Avatar‘s domestic and worldwide box office take were revised. Avatar performed better on Sunday than initial estimates. The headline has been updated with the correct figures. The following article will be updated as more details come in.]
On this week’s episode of the /Filmcast: After Dark, veteran film journalist Anne Thompson stopped by to discuss Avatar and its box office prospects. While our full podcast review of Avatar won’t happen until Tuesday night, Anne made two points/predictions that I found particularly interesting: 1) She predicted a $1 billion worldwide box office take for the film when all is said and done – a remarkable achievement for any movie, but not as high as the $1.8 billion of Cameron’s Titanic, and 2) There was a high possibility that Avatar would not open as strong as other blockbusters (i.e. over $100 million domestic for opening weekend); it’s based on an entirely new property and the marketing featuring the Na’vi imagery hasn’t been as good as it could have been. Despite this, she predicted, word of mouth will carry it for weeks to come.
via UPDATED: Avatar Box Office Opening: $77 Million Domestic, $242 Million Worldwide, Biggest Debut Ever for an Original Film | /Film.

If we don’t support the dreamers, the people daring to break the mold, the people who delight us, the people who remind us the reason we fell in love with movies ; we are only stealing from ourselves that delight, that wonderment, that joy!!!

Reblog this post [with Zemanta]

rePost::Free Will and Ethics : The Frontal Cortex

At the very least, free will is a useful illusion, leading us to be more prosocial and ethical. Because even if we are just “a vast assembly of nerve cells and their associated molecules,” we’re a vast assembly that feels like so much more. William James, as usual, said it best: “My first act of free will shall be to believe in free will.”
via Free Will and Ethics : The Frontal Cortex.

The quoted blog post links to three studies on free will that is very interesting and you would do well to read (at least the original blog post and if that wasn’t enough for you the linked studies.) I generally believe in living rationally and the importance of truth in everything, but if for some people the truth is a little too hard, maybe for some delusion would be okay!!!!

Reblog this post [with Zemanta]

Advice::Arabs and Jews « Paulo Coelho’s Blog

Covering the sun with one’s hand
A disciple went to Rabbi Nachman of Bratslav:
– I shall not continue with my studies of sacred texts – he said. – I live in a small house with my brothers and parents, and never have the ideal conditions for concentrating on that which is important.
Nachman pointed to the sun and asked his disciple to place his hand over his face, in order to hide it. The disciple obeyed.
– Your hand is small, yet it can completely cover the power, light and majesty of the great sun. In the same way, the small problems manage to give you the excuse you need in order to hinder your progress along your spiritual journey.
“Just as your hand has the power to hide the sun, mediocrity has the power to hide your inner light. Do not blame others for your own incompetence.”
via Arabs and Jews « Paulo Coelho’s Blog.

posting this for myself!!

Advice::How To Know You've Hired A Killer Team

Basically, you need people who do their jobs as if the life of the company were on the line.
Why?
Because the life of the company is on the line. Every day. The day you forget that is the day you'll be headed for the scrap heap.
Many talented folks from big companies are seduced by the idea of startup life…right up until the time they actually start working for one. Then they realize that the company depends on them in a way that a larger company never will, and they find the responsibility (and workload) overwhelming.
A great startup executive, meanwhile, wants to carry the fate of the company in his or her hands.
You need to find the latter folks. And you’ll find them, in part, though trial and error. Interviewing and reference-checking helps, but you won’t know for sure that you’ve hired a winner until they hit the ground and start sprinting.
via How To Know You’ve Hired A Killer Team.

I’d like to work in a startup again, hope the second time would be better for me.  Generalizing this advice is useful for Non-Profits, Non Governmental Organization, Government Workers, etc.  Give me a group and we can use this to determine if you have a killer team. It’s very simple if you think about it. I feel that in most projects you just need one uber mind and the rest just helps in assembling, or making the vision work. I believe this is how Apple operates and in a sense how many open source projects work, with their BDFL.
I love this quote from The West Wing:

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.”

Reblog this post [with Zemanta]

rePost:: You make school a perfect misery

Mr Broome
Dear Sir
I write this letter for the good of myself and other boys. Instead of you teachers making school a pleasure you make it a perfect misery to those who happen to be a little backward. Referring to myself, I can say that I never did like school but since I came to Rockdale I have just dreaded the thought of school. This, may I say, has all come from your sneering and poking fun at those who are not quite so well on as others. If a boy happens to have a few mistakes instead of you trying to help him in his difficulty you look over his slate, you either cane him, or spell out aloud his foolish mistakes before over 100 boys who are always ready to make fun. This is why there are so many boys who are always ready to play the truant. And therefore instead of me looking forward to school days I just long for the time when I shall receive a sitificut saying that I may leave school. And as manhood draws on I shall look back on my schooldays as a period of misery instead of a period of happiness.
A Margett
Scholar at (Inferior?) Rockdale Public School
via Letters of Note: You make school a perfect misery.

Life is hard enough for us to make fun of each other.
Life is hard enough that we shouldn’t try to make it any harder on other people.
Quash the need to feel superior. (Being superior is different from needing to feel superior).
Do not listen to the that voice that tells you to pick on other people.
Do not even care if anybody is picking on you.