{"id":8150,"date":"2022-10-26T18:36:47","date_gmt":"2022-10-26T18:36:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/onthe8spot.com\/index.php\/2022\/10\/26\/drowning-2022-10-27-0230h\/"},"modified":"2022-10-26T18:36:47","modified_gmt":"2022-10-26T18:36:47","slug":"drowning-2022-10-27-0230h","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/onthe8spot.com\/index.php\/2022\/10\/26\/drowning-2022-10-27-0230h\/","title":{"rendered":"Drowning 2022 10 27 0230H"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

I feel I am slowly losing myself. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had a suspicion that this would happen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But nothing is ever free.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My family gives me so much joy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hugging my kids make me thank God I am alive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, What is this dread that I am feeling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Two things have never left me since I’ve heard\/watched them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

John Mayer’s Stop This Train I want to get out<\/p>\n\n\n\n

and Before Sunset’s “Life is about fighting for meaning”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The past 5 years were extremely hard. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had to fight for what I have right now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had to swallow my pride and muck it up in the estero.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, because of this I am facing this situation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Basic needs met, now facing existential dread once again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What will I see when I walk this unknown path.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Silent Scream!!!!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I feel I am slowly losing myself. I had a suspicion that this would happen. But nothing is ever free. My family gives me so much joy. Hugging my kids make me thank God I am alive. But, What is this dread that I am feeling. Two things have never left me since I’ve heard\/watched … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “Drowning 2022 10 27 0230H”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,62],"tags":[985,1088],"class_list":["post-8150","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-angol","category-personal-angol","tag-musings","tag-personal"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/onthe8spot.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8150","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/onthe8spot.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/onthe8spot.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/onthe8spot.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/onthe8spot.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8150"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/onthe8spot.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8150\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/onthe8spot.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8150"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/onthe8spot.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8150"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/onthe8spot.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8150"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}