{"id":7830,"date":"2019-04-09T22:17:54","date_gmt":"2019-04-09T22:17:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/onthe8spot.com\/?p=7830"},"modified":"2019-04-09T22:17:54","modified_gmt":"2019-04-09T22:17:54","slug":"masters-of-love-the-atlantic-pocket","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/onthe8spot.com\/index.php\/2019\/04\/09\/masters-of-love-the-atlantic-pocket\/","title":{"rendered":"Masters of Love – The Atlantic – Pocket"},"content":{"rendered":"

Throughout the day, partners would make requests for connection, what Gottman calls \u201cbids.\u201d For example, say that the husband is a bird enthusiast and notices a goldfinch fly across the yard. He might say to his wife, \u201cLook at that beautiful bird outside!\u201d He\u2019s not just commenting on the bird here: he\u2019s requesting a response from his wife\u2014a sign of interest or support\u2014hoping they\u2019ll connect, however momentarily, over the bird.<\/p>\n

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The wife now has a choice. She can respond by either \u201cturning toward\u201d or \u201cturning away\u201d from her husband, as Gottman puts it. Though the bird-bid might seem minor and silly, it can actually reveal a lot about the health of the relationship. The husband thought the bird was important enough to bring it up in conversation and the question is whether his wife recognizes and respects that.
\nPeople who turned toward their partners in the study responded by engaging the bidder, showing interest and support in the bid. Those who didn\u2019t\u2014those who turned away\u2014would not respond or respond minimally and continue doing whatever they were doing, like watching TV or reading the paper. Sometimes they would respond with overt hostility, saying something like, \u201cStop interrupting me, I\u2019m reading.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Source: Masters of Love – The Atlantic – Pocket<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Throughout the day, partners would make requests for connection, what Gottman calls \u201cbids.\u201d For example, say that the husband is a bird enthusiast and notices a goldfinch fly across the yard. He might say to his wife, \u201cLook at that beautiful bird outside!\u201d He\u2019s not just commenting on the bird here: he\u2019s requesting a response … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “Masters of Love – The Atlantic – Pocket”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[62],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7830","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-personal-angol"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/onthe8spot.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7830","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/onthe8spot.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/onthe8spot.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/onthe8spot.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/onthe8spot.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7830"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/onthe8spot.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7830\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/onthe8spot.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7830"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/onthe8spot.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7830"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/onthe8spot.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7830"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}