{"id":7428,"date":"2018-07-17T08:46:46","date_gmt":"2018-07-17T08:46:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/onthe8spot.com\/?p=7428"},"modified":"2018-07-17T08:46:46","modified_gmt":"2018-07-17T08:46:46","slug":"how-to-stand-up-for-yourself-a-year-of-living-better-guides-the-new-york-times","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/onthe8spot.com\/index.php\/2018\/07\/17\/how-to-stand-up-for-yourself-a-year-of-living-better-guides-the-new-york-times\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Stand Up for Yourself &#8211; A year of living better Guides &#8211; The New York Times"},"content":{"rendered":"<blockquote>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Be brief<\/strong>. Julie de Azevedo Hanks, a Utah psychotherapist, likes to remind herself that \u201cNo is a complete sentence.\u201d You are not obligated to explain at length to a friend or stranger why you\u2019d prefer not to do something. (A boss may require more rationale, but a succinct answer is still best.)<\/li>\n<li><strong>Be gracious in declining an invitation<\/strong><em>.\u00a0<\/em>Dr. Hanks, author of \u201cThe Assertiveness Guide for Women,\u201d said that if she is asked to return as a speaker at a conference for a second year and she doesn\u2019t want to go, she may say, \u201cI\u2019m glad it went well last year, but this year is no good.\u201d<\/li>\n<li><strong>Use \u201cI\u201d phrases<\/strong><em>.<\/em>\u00a0If a co-worker expects prompt answers to their Saturday night missives, inform them on Friday: \u201cI need uninterrupted downtime this weekend so I\u2019m not checking mail until Monday.\u201d By contrast, \u201cyou\u201d phrases sound accusatory and tend to backfire, as any spouse knows.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Stall.<\/strong>\u00a0If you\u2019re indecisive or need a moment to consider a request, use a delay tactic, Dr. Paterson advises. Say: \u201cLet me check my schedule and get back to you.\u201d No more knee-jerk &#8216;Yes&#8221;s.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Prepare responses<\/strong><em>.<\/em>\u00a0For repeat askers in your life, decide beforehand what requests are unreasonable and then formulate a \u201cpleasant but firm\u201d answer, Dr. Paterson said. For instance, if your mother wants you to paint her bathroom this weekend, you may decide you\u2019re not willing to do it, even though you\u2019ve long been her go-to painter. One way to go: \u201cI don\u2019t have time in my schedule to tackle this anytime soon, but I\u2019m happy to send you a few names of reliable painters.\u201d<\/li>\n<li><strong>Act it out<\/strong><em>.<\/em>\u00a0It might seem silly, but rehearsing certain scenarios in front of the mirror or role playing with a trusted friend can help. Practice sounding relaxed, even if you aren\u2019t.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>Source: <em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/guides\/year-of-living-better\/how-to-stand-up-for-yourself\">How to Stand Up for Yourself &#8211; A year of living better Guides &#8211; The New York Times<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Be brief. Julie de Azevedo Hanks, a Utah psychotherapist, likes to remind herself that \u201cNo is a complete sentence.\u201d You are not obligated to explain at length to a friend or stranger why you\u2019d prefer not to do something. (A boss may require more rationale, but a succinct answer is still best.) Be gracious in &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"http:\/\/onthe8spot.com\/index.php\/2018\/07\/17\/how-to-stand-up-for-yourself-a-year-of-living-better-guides-the-new-york-times\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;How to Stand Up for Yourself &#8211; A year of living better Guides &#8211; The New York Times&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[62],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7428","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-personal-angol"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/onthe8spot.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7428","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/onthe8spot.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/onthe8spot.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/onthe8spot.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/onthe8spot.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7428"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/onthe8spot.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7428\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/onthe8spot.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7428"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/onthe8spot.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7428"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/onthe8spot.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7428"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}