Education University isn’t everything. But it is something. Everyone I know in fancypants media London claims they burned through their time at their alma mater like a packet of Rizlas, but I’m often the only person they know who didn’t go.
It’s OK to be a nerd If nerds ran the world there would be no wars. Only unconvincing battle re-enactments in meticulously correct period costume.
Love Never date anyone who is rude to waiters. (Knowing this in advance could have prevented the poisoning of five years of my life.)
Style Never buy anything to impress someone you don’t know. Never wear a T-shirt with a face on it that’s more attractive than yours. If you are ever going to wear a crop top, the time is now.
Socialising All the good bits of a night out happen before 2am. Don’t feel the need to stay up any later. Drugs have a terrible rate of return: they make you ugly, boring and ill, in that order. (The legal ones are the worst.) When talking to someone you like, don’t be nonchalant. Be complimentary. Everyone likes compliments, except dickheads, and it’s usually politic to identify them as quickly as possible.