Mark usually went home for the weekend but didn’t last sunday so Me, Chuck and Mark decided to hang out in trinoma. I was late around 30 minutes. I didn’t tell them but I was nearly in fight before I went to trinoma.

Suffice to say this blog post Isn’t about my near physical altercation with someone. Nope this isn’t

Let’s see, I am a fairly introspective person. I have the tendency to over analyze things.

The warrior has memories, but he learns how to separate the useful from the unnecessary; he disposes of his emotional rubbish.By Paulo Coelho

And this was no exception. It made me try to remember all of the times that I was mad or in rage. I tried hard to try to remember those times, because I had a hunch that I did not learn from past mistakes that I was repeating myself.

I initially thought that Iget mad easily but this is just a lie I tell myself.

The truth is when I get mad I am most probably suppressing something more painful, something that I continue to lie to myslef about. This rage eventually bubbles up and is unleashed on something that I have no problems feuding with.

Taking the long view my moments of rage are separated by months to years. The problem is I end up feuding with the wrong people and only adding people to my ignore list. This cannot continue. I cannot continue to lie to myself about painful things. I have to face these harsh realities and learn to heal myself. I must learn to let the hate go. I cannot change people but I can change how I react/ineract with them. I can be a better human being. I can be the calm in the middle of the storm. I’ve made inroads in this personal quest, but it seems not enough.