Just got a raise, Its not big but in the high inflationary environment we are in coupled with the growing pains of adulthood I’ll take what I can.

I’ve been very vocal with my urging of friends to not change lifestyles after a pay raise and the like. I still remember last saturday when Rain and I somewhat ganged up on Jizelle for her “lifestyle changes”.

We were just doing those things for fun. Its nice (and quite entertaining) to make people conscious of the changes they undergo. Oft times when they are not too mindful of a majority of the moments of their lives people change a lot without realizing it. This happens often enough that the change comes too fast and in a relatively short time we sometimes no longer recognize who we already have become. This is somewhat problematic for people who do not take great pains on being true to themselves at almost all times because sometimes we become or have turned into a something who we (or at least our former selves) do not like.

This is one of the challenges of adulthood trying to find your center what some people call “wal” where we retreat to in times of distress, Where although almost everything around and most definitely about us is changing , this is what stays the same.

I’ve always lived mindfully and have suffered a constant battle within because of this.  When lying/lies are the one of the most potent of tools to use against a lot of the pain, doubt , questions, and the tragedies that we encounter losing the capability or at least the knee jerk reaction of not facing reality becomes a stake unto itself.When one can only see too well into ones own lies, One becomes naked to self-examination, and when one sees who we really are we may or may not understand what has become of us.

But the Sorrow of Truth is the Happiness of Reality, For one can only love something when you know that thing, If not know at least have an Idea what the essence of that thing is, and in this place of Sorrow and Happiness one can truly love ones self.

I’ve made my choice and its A choice I’ve long made and have never regretted. I try to live as someone who knows who I am warts and all and have suffered through it. I look at myself in the mirror and do not regret the image that I see. I am who I am by the force of my environment but also by the force of my will.

In The Face Of Changes the one that can change and not change at all is the same person.