follow up to : On Betrayal
I was thinking about my previous post on betrayal and I realized I can take it in a another direction. So here goes.
Sometimes when your doing something and it contradicts what you are saying may be you are not betraying yourself but actually trying to learn. What I am trying to say is maybe you just do not realize what you are doing contradicts what you profess to believe in. May be in some alternate chain of actions what you are doing does not really contradict what wou are saying. maybe, maybe.
But, what I believe is actually happening is that you are failing to listen to what your inner self is telling you.
When you have such a tough time getting yourself to go to work, your innerself is telling you something.
When you are more energetic at your hobby or side project after working a 9-5, your innerself is telling you something.
When all you can do is just smile whenever someone is talking, listening but finding yourself wondering about what you are going to do next,your innerself is telling you something.
When all you seem to do is laugh when you are with them and you are suddenly a different person, your innerself is telling you something.
When you can’t seem to shake the image of her face and how she slants her head whenever she talks, your innerself is telling you something.
When it hurts so much that you cant seem to find anyone who understands how much pain you are feeling, your innerself is telling you something.
I think that we have always had that inner compass, that inner self that we just cant lie to. We go through life first having no innerself because when we were young we did what we felt doing and because we knew little evil we weren’t that bad, And as we grew and got a little smarter, developed a little slyness and knew more evil things or maybe learned somethings to fear or learned to be more insecure we separated with the true us that lies within, that part of our being who we cannot lie to, where we can show no pretenses just the truth.
This is the innerself I speak about. This is the innerself we must be more aware of, for I would make you a bet that if you did listen more to it you’d be happier by far!